Do You Boo Boo

When YOU do what YOU love and LOVE what YOU do, YOU become YOUR true YOU!

I hope YOU meet YOU!!!  

I LOVE YOU 

Los Angeles Trains and Stations

 

I joined TINDER!

I joined Tinder!  Man, do I feel like a tinder piece of meat… jk   Seriously though, I joined Tinder.  I remember when I first heard about Tinder.  I was told by a group of friends that Tinder was a sex site where people go to hook up.  My response, “I would never!”  Here I am, on Tinder.

I joined Tinder about three weeks ago.  No, I haven’t been on a date yet.  Yes, I do find the app amusing.  In the past I had an EHarmony membership for about two months, then transitioned over to Match.com for about three months.  EHarmony, I never went on a date.  Match.com I actually went on two dates.  My first date with Match was a man who I thought was my age, yet acted like a teenager.  Men, do not tell me that you are sexy.  This is what he did throughout the entire date.  At one point he bent over and said, “you like this don’t you?”  In my head I was thinking, NOOOOOOOO, and I can’t wait for this date to be over with so I can get away from you.  My second date on Match was with a guy a few years older than me, I’m 33.  I feel like he gave me a warning when he said, “most of my friends who are married are on Match, they use it to cheat on their wives.”  I laughed it off, only to realize a few dates later he was a complete player.  He admitted it. 

After taking a good year and a half break from online dating, I joined Tinder three weeks ago.  I have to admit, I like Tinder the best!  I like Tinder because I don’t get messages from men I’m not into cluttering my inbox.  If I swipe right and he swipes right, then we can message one another.  If I swipe right and he doesn’t then he’s not feeling me, or made a terrible mistake by left swiping me on accident.  If he swipes right and swipe left on him, he can’t message me.   I admit, there are times when I’m on a roll swiping left for guys I’m not interested in, then by accident I swipe left on someone I would be interested in and that’s that.  He’s gone.  “Awwww man!” 

I’m that female who will not message a man first.  I know this is 2017 now and us women can make the first step.  I guess I’m traditional when it comes to dating.  I like to be asked out on a date.  I don’t message first because I have this irrational thought that men talk to so many women, that if he’s interested for sure then he will make the first move and message me.  I tend to give guys I match with on Tinder a few days to message me, then if nothing I happily change my selection with them to un-match, then poof they are gone.  I never regret it.  I feel as if we both don’t communicate with one another, then we would waste one another’s time.  Yes, said person could be out of town or blah blah blah, however if all of a sudden I get the notification that we are a match after I right swiped him first and we still don’t message one another for a few days, then it wasn’t enough of an interest to move forward with communication.  I prefer a man who takes initiative.  Men who know what they want is sexy to me.  I select un-match, and poof they are gone.

So yes, three weeks later and the furthest I’ve gone with someone is messaging back and forth for a few days then realizing naw, I’m cool.  Correction, I did give one guy my number and we talked a few days then communication fell off between the two of us.  Or hey, maybe he thought I was crazy.  Either way, we obviously aren’t interested in each other enough to keep the communication going.  So what did I do, click un-match and poof he was gone.

Yes, I still like Tinder.  I even recommended it to my ex!  Yep, sure did.  I can’t keep all the fun to myself if I found a dating site I like.  After-all, I want him to be happy too!  If you wish bad on another person, or un-happiness on another person then you’ve got some serious issues.  Ex’s are ex’s for a reason, we are not a match.  I wish all my ex’s the best and hope they find their soulmates.  Like I said, ex’s are ex’s for a reason.  I don’t like to go backwards where I’ve already been and know it doesn’t work.  I prefer to move forward.  That’s my opinion whether you like it or not. 

When I’m bored, which isn’t often because I LOVE MY HOBBIES, I find myself selecting my Tinder app and swiping mostly left with a few rights.  It’s actually quite fun!  I would like to say thank you to the men on Tinder who are honest in their profiles in saying you are on Tinder solely for hook-ups.  After-all why waste one another’s time.  I’m not on Tinder for hook-ups.  If I was I would’ve had a date by now! 

Even though you didn’t ask, here’s some advice to the men who aren’t on Tinder for hookups.  WRITE INFORMATON IN YOUR PROFILE!  This can get you pretty far with us women!  Once again, write information in your profile.  What you write says a lot about who you are and what you want.  I left swipe anyone who doesn’t have words in their profile.  Why, because my irrational thinking tells me that if someone IS NOT SERIOUS about finding real companionship they write nothing.  Some more advice, because you didn’t ask.  To those men who’s profiles only state, “just ask,” you are lazy.  If you couldn’t take the time to fill out a profile, I would rather not waste my time in asking what you could’ve already stated.  It’s already annoying to message back and forth only to find out info that could’ve already been stated.  Left swipe, poof you are gone.

Aghhhh, I got some more advice you didn’t ask for.  Post more than one picture.  Preferably at least three at the minimum.  At least one close up picture and one far away to really see what you look like.  I think I have five pictures on my profile.  One close up, one full body, one in a bikini, and different angles so you can really see me and not wonder what I look like other than my face.  To those with one picture no matter how attractive you are, left swipe and poof you are gone.

I’ve been asked by people, “you joined Tinder, isn’t that a sex site?”  For some it is, for some it isn’t.  For me it is not.  Life is what you make it.  I had a conversation about a month ago with a female from Europe who informed me, “it’s only American’s who think Tinder is only for sex.  American’s are so close minded.  Tinder is for meeting new friends, Tinder is for finding the love of your life, Tinder is for sex, and Tinder is for social circles.”  Yes, I was that American who assumed Tinder was only for sex.  She is the reason I joined Tinder.  She opened my eyes to my preconceived judgments about something I never researched and instead judged.  Thank you my friend!

I like Tinder the most because of the simple fact that you only message each other once each side has right swiped one another.  It’s simple, it’s FREE, and it’s fun.  I like simple things. 

Will I be one that says, “I met my husband on Tinder?”  Who knows.  Right now, I’m definitely enjoying and encourage more singles to join!  Tinder is free!

YES, I'm aware it doesn't help when I write stuff like this for the world to see when dating...  I could care less.  Haha.  I guess I'm way to honest about my life and my adventures.  Guess that's why it's MY Blog.  Thinking of other ways to make people say, "did she really just write that."  

            

I Wandered LA, Homeless

The ability to lay down is such an amazing feeling.  I’ve been inside for a week now.  A week ago, I didn’t have a home.  I wandered and I wandered and I wandered.  According to the state, I was homeless.  So, it feels good to lay down safely and not sleep sitting up.

All over Los Angeles.  I can show you LA, I can write you a poem about LA.  I had a few motel stays, some great, some good, and one horrible.  I mostly slept on the bus.  If you take the 460 from Downtown LA to Disneyland around 10:20pm it’s a good two hour trip.  Get off the bus, wait for 20 minutes and get back on around 12:15am and head back to Downtown LA, arrive around 2am.  Walk a few blocks, about 30minutes later either catch the 4, 20, 33, or 733 to Santa Monica for about an hour.  Get off, they changed the stops in Santa Monica so now I would walk a few blocks either to McDonalds and wait until the trains run at 4am or catch the next bus to downtown LA for about an hour. 

Next, hit the gym for a workout and shower.  This was pretty much my daily night and early am routine. 

Yes, I hardly slept.  I was chased a few times, only in Santa Monica.  Naturally in Santa Monica in the early am I walked like a beast, but was scarred as shit half the time.  I would laugh about it after I made it through the night, after-all I gotta stay happy!  No matter what you go through, stay happy.  There is always someone that is doing worse then you in life, so pick your head up and keep it pushing in the most positive way you can.  Life is worth living.

I worked out twice a day and showered twice a day at Planet Fitness.  Thank you for your cheap membership!!! 

Now let’s talk about the bathroom situation in Downtown LA.  There are none!  Okay there’s a few.  There is no bathroom access in all of the Starbucks in Downtown LA, with an exception of the Starbucks on 7^th and Figueroa St.  Are you listening Travelers and Nomads, only on 7^th and Figueroa in Downtownn LA.  This is also the only Starbucks where you can access the outlets to charge your whatevermabob. 

Where can you use the bathroom?  An obvious very important question when you don’t have a roof over your head.  The Los Angeles Public Library, Union Station, Starbucks on 7^th and Figueroa, and Macys on 7^th and Figueroa.  OR, you can use the Green Public bathrooms that are nastier than nasty, ewwwww don’t do it!   I did a few times, and my goodness.

The Starbucks on 5^th and Spring had outlet access at one point, which they slowly reduced.  It started with outlet access at two tables.  Then one, then none.  The Starbucks Blockers came in and placed a cover on the outlets, and just like that they were gone. 

I had Starbucks almost every-day, coffee please.  Thank you.  Important to know which ones to go into for free coffee…  muhahahaaaaa

I lived everywhere and no where.  I slept in a Church, under the over pass a few times, mostly on the bus.  When I had the money I stayed at; The Desert Inn, The Royal Pagoda Motel, Spent 28 days at the Studio Lodge Hotel-Loved it!  I highly recommend Studio Lodge Hotel.  You can only stay there one week at a time or up to 28 days, then you have to checkout for 30 days.  Stayed at The Re Tan Hotel once, then attempted it again but the roaches drove me out and I couldn’t get my money back.  I was only checked in for one hour.  BLAH!

I went all over LA to Disneyland, to Santa Monica, to North Hollywood and all in between.  I took all the trains and buses, and only Ubered when it wasn’t on my dime.  I was Homeless, yet I still had the most memorable experience and fun then I’ve had my whole 33 years on this planet.  There are things in life one must go through and experience.  I learned patience, understanding, more love, compassion, and the desire to help more. 

I kept all my stuff in a trash bin at The Bins.  The Bins are located in what’s called, Skid Row on 5^th and Town in Downtown LA.  The bins are free with a California ID.  I had access to my bin full of stuff at any-time as many times as I wanted from 8:30am-4:30pm, excluding Sundays.  I had to check in once a week.  If you don’t check-in and get your paper dated and marked in their books by Staff then you can’t access your bin for one week.  So yes, I checked in every week and accessed my bin every few days. 

I always had a backpack full of gym clothes, something to sleep in and a few outfits.  I lived this life for four months.  I took Vitamin C and B12 everyday and NEVER got sick!  Got a concussion from walking across the street eating a KFC biscuit, tripped and landed on my head.  Couldn’t walk the next day, blurry vision and all, Lol.   Would I do it again, yes.  Sometimes you have to go on your own journey no matter what anyone thinks or says about you.  You have to do you, not one Person on Earth will understand your journey, but YOU!  You have to experience what you know you need to experience.  I became homeless after getting my life threatened, getting my Camaro bashed in with bricks, pushed out by my last two employers for fighting for the right cause, dealt with ignorant racism (people who think its cool to say racist comments and just never want you to fit in nor be), and when I had my apartment it was so bad I spent the last month of it being out of it and sleeping in my car where I felt safe, I started with Vegas sleeping in the Wynn parking lot.

Shit happens.  Life happens.  It’s what you do next.  You can either keep it pushing or give up.  I chose to keep it pushing and start over, so I moved to LA where I took more pictures and more pictures to share with the world.  I capture what moves me.  I made sure when not working to try and get sleep where I could and TO DO WHAT MOVED ME.  So I captured, I made sure to write, hit the gym, read, listen to music that moved me, and went to the beach.  I didn’t look for love, a man, a boyfriend.  I did what I loved and it taught me to keep doing what I love.  If you love something do it.

My best conversations with were with fellow homeless People on the streets, at the beach, or on the bus.  Real conversations, nothing about celebrities, or whats on tv, or drama in peoples lives, NO!  We sat and talked and had real genuine conversations without a cell phone sitting between us and without one another constantly checking phones.  Real conversations.  

As women I see so many other women chasing men.  While living in Los Angeles I was told on so many occasions, “why don’t you just go get a boyfriend and just be with him so you have a place to live.”  I kept sleeping on buses.  Ef that, that’s the dumbest advice I was given.  I would rather sleep on a bus then pretend to be with someone or lay down with someone.  Ef that.  Thank you for the horrible advice, glad it made something funny to write about.

I worked as a Waitress for Déjà Vu briefly until they wanted me to dance on stage while cleaning, naw just a Waitress, the girls were rude anyway.  A Personal Assistant to a man who didn’t care for Black People and attempted to touch me, naw not me!  You got the wrong one!  I also worked Background for the television shows, and on one occasion in the Karaoke Club in Korea Town as a Hostess aka a Domi.  Yes, I even did that.  I did some interesting stuff and went everywhere.  I couldn’t take enough pictures.  This was my experience that so many people didn’t understand why I didn’t just go to my Mom or Dads house.  Because I’m not you, you can't always run to your parents.  There are things in life you have to go through alone and experience.  Yes, staying with parents sounds safe but that's not what I was suppose to do.  Would I have learned what I did and had the experiences I did, made the friends I did, saw what I saw, and experienced what I did?  I wouldn’t give up that experience for anything. 

Thank you to whoever smashed my Camaro in with bricks, thank you to Target for pushing me out and telling me it's your job or theirs, thank you to the women who insisted on making racist comments toward me at my next job, thank you for not allowing me to fit in and not feel at home, thank you to my ex boyfriend for making me completely scarred of You.  All of you helped me along my journey in becoming a more aware being.  Thank you for showing me exactly where I didn't need to be.  I appreciate you all, without you all I would still be living the same circle of a life that people call simply existing.

If you don't like your job, QUIT!  Walk away.  Your job is not who you are.  Find another one, better yet... create your own way.  When you do what you love and be authentic in who you are you find a different type of happiness.  A happiness you don't see on peoples faces as they live the same routine everyday.  Have the courage to change your life and do something different when it needs to be done.  I'm not saying go be homeless as I was for four months, I'm saying DO whatever it is that brings out the UNIQUENESS in YOU!  Do what brings passion into your heart, do what makes your eyes brighten more and more everyday, do what you love.

I went on a journey of faith and understanding.  Life is simple.  Life is exactly what you make it.  You are what you think.  You can do anything you want in this life.  You limit yourself, stop blaming people and take action over your own life.  Keep growing, keep learning, keep loving.  


I Love YOU,

Zulekha Williams