Merry Christmas and Happy Thoughts

Happy  Holidays and a very Merry Christmas to you all.  I love you.  

I hope everyone has had a happy holiday to those who celebrate and happy days to those who don't.  I love the holidays, people are nicer, happier, and all that jazz.  What do the holidays mean to you?

When I think of the holidays I fantasize about Christmas gatherings, music, enjoying time with one another, good spirited humans, an overall joyful time with lots of food, love, and a Happy Happy New Year!

I love the holidays!

Are you a happy person to be around during the holidays?  Take a minute, sit back, and think?  Do I give off good vibes and love to people?  If I don't it needs to be fixed ASAP.  If I do, am I doing it everyday and not just the holidays?

It's important to yourself and for those you come into contact with to have good energy and a positive well being.  After all, who likes a Debby Downer-I don't and neither do You!  I love cheerful humans with positive things to speak about and forget the gossip, we all know it's annoying.  Be happy!  Do what you have to do to achieve that happiness and to put a smile on your face, you deserve it.  What does that mean to you, to put a smile on your own face?  Do you even know anymore?

To put a smile on my face, I write... duh.  I listen to good music, speak to those who are happy humans without negativity, dance, laugh, workout, watch favorite shows, capture, go places, and most of all be with my family and cuddle up with my Man.  It's good to know what put's a smile on your face, by having that insight you can boost your spirits.  Don't ever blame other humans for you being sad, depressed, or mad.  Yes, they will do things that make you upset, but YOU HAVE THE POWER to continue to allow yourself to be mad, sad, depressed, or move on to things that make you happy.  We all have flaws, those are just your thoughts and you always have the ability to change them.  Smile.  

Happy Holidays.  I love you!

Happy Holidays

The holidays are here along with elevated spirits, joy, and laughter.  I love this time of the year because humans are more polite.  Notice the way humans tell each other things like;
"Happy Holidays"
"Merry Christmas"
"Happy Thanksgiving"
"Have a wonderful holiday"

During this time of the year humans actually acknowledge one another and speak.  It's amazing!  Why can't this go on through out the rest of the year?  Why can't humans acknowledge one another all year?  It's so easy, all it takes is;
"Good Morning"
"Good Evening"
"Have a Wonderful Day"
"Have a Beautiful Day"
"Enjoy the Rest of Your Day"
"I Hope You Have a Great Day"

I put a lot of those words in caps because I want them to jump out at you, engrain into your subconscious, float around, and then just maybe you will begin to use them throughout your day.  I hope...

Be a nice happy human.

You Are Your Thoughts

Your thoughts run your world...

Have you ever sat back and though about your thoughts?  The very act of thinking about your thoughts is called metacognition.  When our brains develop around age 12 we all have the ability to think about our thoughts.  

1) What messages do you tell yourself throughout the day?

2) What do you say about other people in your head that you come across in life?

3) Are your thoughts mostly positive or negative?

4) What is the first thing you think about when you wake up? Positive or negative?

5) Do you have a positive view of your world or negative?

6) Do you build yourself up or bring yourself down with your thoughts?

These are just a few simple questions to ask yourself.  If your'e not sure about the answer take the rest of your day to analyze your thoughts as you go about your human activities.  At the end of the day you have an awareness of what type of thinker you are.

It's extremely important to have awareness of what you tell yourself throughout your human day.  If you come to a realization that most of your thoughts are putting others down, putting yourself down, negative outlook, poor view of the world around you then you can change all of this.  It's simple!  All you have to do is bring more awareness to your thoughts and when you find yourself going down a negative thought alley, change it!  Just like that, just change it.  Here's how:

1) The world is against me/ I'm the creator of my own destiny

2) I can't stand people/ everyone is different and uniquely beautiful in their own way

3) People are toxic/ there is so much I can learn from others insecurities or negative personality traits because I see myself in others.  Once you see yourself in others you can make healthy changes

4) I hate my job/ this job is just for now and it's allowing me to apply for other jobs.  This job is just for now because it's giving me the money to work on my dreams

5) I hate the people I work with/ I can learn a lot from those I work with and they are teaching me how to communicate with difficult people

6) I'm so unhappy/ I'm grateful to have another day on Earth to begin pursuing my dreams and be the best human I can be

7) They are so annoying/ What do I do that's just like them that I can start changing to better my own character

Try to see the best in things know matter what happens!  I had a career I couldn't stand at one point.  During that time I would spend my breaks and lunch breaks writing down ways to pursue my dreams.  When I would go home I would then put time into my dreams instead of being caught in negative thoughts about my career.  

Did someone do you bad in your past or hurt you.  How long are you going to hold onto that hurt before you move on?  You are only hurting yourself at this point by not letting go.  Can't get over your divorce and how your partner treated you?  Now you are being the toxic human that won't move forward and spending to much time in negative thoughts.  Is that all you talk about, your past hurts?  I can bet other humans don't like interacting with you much because you are a Debby Downer.  Change that!  Be a positive person and shut up about your past hurts and start building a beautiful future each day!

You have the power to create your own destiny.  You can only blame yourself if you choose not to put time and energy into pursuing your dreams.  Stop blaming other humans for your downfalls and instead put time and energy into building your character, pursuing your dreams, and doing whatever it is that makes you smile.  You are the creator of your own destiny.  

Go be a better you!

Quality Time With My Family Is The Best Time

I don't want to me a Mommy who just wants to get things done.  I want to be a Mommy who spends quality time with my baby boy and my family first.  Quality time is something you can never get back nor try to replace.  Quality time for me means putting my phone down and giving my family my undivided attention.  Through my Mental Health Career over the years I learned children and teenagers just want their parents to put their phones down.  I don't want my children to feel that social media is more important then them because it's not.  Social media is a facade of a life where people paint pictures of either what they want their lives to be or flat out lie.  Yes, I have a Facebook and an Instagram but it doesn't run my life.  I hope to have my children gain from me, you don't need your phone in front of you 24/7.

Laundry will eventually get done, the dishes will get done and I'm fine with putting them off because I would rather see my son's smile, talk to my Man when he gets home from work, eat dinner together, cuddle up on the couch with my family.  These are all things which can't be replaced.  When I feed my son I don't answer the phone.  When my family is watching a movie or eating dinner together-I don't answer the phone because phone life can wait, this is family time.

When I go to my family members home's I make an effort to set my phone down and even better, leave it in my purse on vibrate because people calling and texting can wait.  I would rather give my family my undivided attention then run for my phone.  Yes, at times I do wish cell phones never happened.  They are fun, but what if they never happened?  Humans would actually be forced to talk to one another.  It's the most annoying thing to me when someone is holding my baby and then freak out because OMG their phone is going off and they make a mad dash to get to their phone.  Okay you phone controlled human, give me my baby back!  NOW!

When you're around your family remember what quality time is.  Talk to one another, if you're going to bring up the person's past speak about things which lift them up-don't focus on their past failures nor negative personality traits.  Build them up!  Put your phone down and if you're brave enough turn it off or put it on silent out of eye site because that person calling you or texting you can wait.  Theres nothing like the time you spend with someone uninterrupted when they are physically in front of you.

Now go be a nice human.

THINK Before Touching a Pregnant Belly

I would like to say sorry to all of the pregnant belly’s I touched and rubbed over the years without asking.  I never realized how annoying this was until I was pregnant and my gosh, random people would walk up to me and touch my belly.  Then say, oh is it okay if I touch your belly, as they’re already all over it. SMH

I’m so sorry to all of the women I did this to which was only a handful and to those handful, I apologize.  I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.  You should’ve threw up in my face.

If you know someone who’s pregnant it’s probably not a good idea to rub on their belly when they’re not even showing.  OMG this drove me crazy.  I promised myself next time I’m pregnant I’m not going to tell everyone because I don’t want them rubbing all over me.  Why do you feel the need to rub on someone belly when I’m not even showing?  It’s kind of rude.  

Words of advice…  If you see a pregnant female ask if you can touch their belly before you reach out your hand.  I would most likely say yes, but I do have my days when I don’t want to be touched.  If you are granted permission, don’t beat the belly.  I had a few people pat my belly so hard I wanted to drop kick them.  NO, NO, NO peeps my baby is inside I will turn the Universe over for my baby.

When your pregnant emotions are everywhere, nausea comes and goes, back aches, drunk people are annoying, hands all over you is annoying, so be courteous and keep your hands to yourself unless you are granted permission.  It’s the nice human thing to do.  

Be a nice human. Thanks. 

Are YOU Living?

Time and time I ask myself, are you living?  What I mean by this is, are you living the life you want to live or going through the motions in auto pilot and letting life happen to you.  I always want my answer to be, I'm living and I'm constantly creating the life I want to live as a direct result of my actions and thinking.

What you think can be a direct result to how you are living.  Are your thoughts positive or negative?  Ae you constantly in a state of worry or happiness?  Are putting others down or building them up?  Thoughts make up a lot what you do with your life, how you treat other people, and are a direct result of what type of influencer or role model you are.  Like it or not we are all role models as there are always people watching what we do and how we act.  

With all that said, I try not to curse.  Yeah, yeah, whatever I curse.  However I try to keep it to a minimum with awareness of whose in earshot.  Now that I just wrote that statement I realize how BS it is and that I should not curse at all.  GAME ON!  I'll let you know how that goes...

So, am I living?  I think I can do better.  I'm doing a lot of what I want to do, however not all of what I want to do.  I will invest more time into my photography and writing as I've greatly slacked off on these two through my pregnancy and post birth.  I don't and will not be that person that makes excuses as to why they didn't do the things they wanted to in life.  I hope you will not be that person as well.  I hope you are living and doing the things you want and not making sorry crappy excuses as to why you are not daily.  STOP LYING TO YOURSELF!  STOP HOLDING YOURSELF BACK!  Be your biggest cheerleader, be the you you want to be.  Don't wait, be your best you now!

I'm back Y'all!

I’ve been flying like bird away from my blog for quite some time now.  Well, I’m back.  Why?  I had a baby.  Whew, that took a lot out of me!  But I’m so grateful for my our newborn baby boy, his name is Maddox and he’s freaking phenomenal… as he should be.  

I’m gonna be back to posting regularly again.  I’m a Mommy now, will that change my blog…  maybe perhaps some of the topics involving parenting, new mother, new father, kids, babies and such.  Other then that I will still rag about whatever.  muhahahahaaa

Friends

Friends…

When you think of the word friend, what comes to mind?  What is a real friend? 

 For me a friend is someone who you can trust, who you love, and have an understanding relationship with.

Let’s start with trust.  Trust can mean many different things to different people.  For me trust is being able to talk to someone and divulge information about yourself without that information moving along to other ears.  Trust is trusting that person with your life.  Yes, I took it as far as saying with your life.  If you were on life support and needed someone to say whether you live or not do you trust your best friend to make the right decision for you?  Perhaps that to deep so let me keep it simple.  Do your trust your friends with your children, with your bank account information, with your sensitive information?  Trust can go in so many different directions.

A friend is someone you love and loves you back.  Can you honestly say you love your friends?  I keep a very small tight circle of friends because although I do honestly feel I love everyone in this world, even those who have betrayed me, there is a different type of love a friend gives.  A friend embodies a type of love in which you feel safe, accepted, and understood and you give the same feeling back in return.

Understanding means so much and is often misunderstood.  I personally don’t feel understood by many including family members.  To really understand where someone is coming from and their intentions means really knowing a person which involves listening and awareness.  Not many humans are good at listening.  Listening is an art in which matters so much.  If I consider a person a friend, I also consider them a great listener.  No, I’m not one to go on and on about my problems because to be honest that’s just annoying to only hear someone’s problems in a friendship.  Listening involves being aware of someone’s non-verbal communication as well as their audible and being able to pick up on their subtle cues when in person.  A great friend can also pick up on subtle cues even over the phone because they know you so well.

The thing about life is some friends come and go and some are lifelong.  Throughout life you will lose friends and make new ones because that’s just how life goes.  Some friends are seasonal and for these you have to know when to let them go and move on.  Humans change throughout the course of their lives because of life changing circumstances, tragedy, happiness, birth, love, marriage, death, accident, school, drugs, career, self-education, media, and so many more things.  When people change it can be for the good or bad.  I know who try so hard to hold onto friends who know longer have purposes in one another lives but just because they’ve been friends for so long.  To be a good friends means knowing when to let someone go one throughout life if you are the friend who drags them down and keeps them growing in life.  Letting go is hard, but at times it’s needed.  It may be the other way around and you have to let someone go because you know longer move forward in life because of this friend or perhaps one another may be keeping each other in a bad place. 

Just with all things in life friends change just as the weather changes, as the season changes, as life changes.  Some friends will be lifelong and some will be for brief short periods of time.  If you lose a friend or someone tells you they no longer wish to be friends don’t be afraid to let them go and flourish on their own.  After-all we don’t stay attached to our parents for life, we learn, we grow, and we go start our own lives because that’s life. 

Are You Present?

Talks of being present have surfaced to mainstream and social media, which has me wondering if people are just talking about being present as a fad or are people actually being fully present.  hmmmm...

Over the course of the years I've read quite a few books on being present and can say I've learned quite a bit.  Does this make me a master at being present, no.  However I do try.  Being present appears to take on different definitions depending who is talking about being present.  For me being present means to actually BE.  If I'm in a conversation with another human being you wont find me checking my phone or my head wandering about looking everywhere else.  I make it a point to be fully present with the human being in front of me by giving them eye contact, actually responding back to what they are talking about, and not letting my thoughts drift off to other places.  

When you look around public places take note of how many people are on their cell phones while at lunch, dinner, breakfast, or with another human.  I meet up with different people and notice how they can't put their phones down or go running to their phone if it rings.  I understand people have children and need to stay in contact for their safety, for those who have adult children why are you running to your phone?  

If I'm working on a project I try to put my all into it, even if it's something I don't like I will make it the best I can while doing my absolute best.  I've had jobs I didn't like very much, but guarantee I performed highly being and doing the best I could.  If I'm at work and a co-worker speaks to me I actually turn and face them.  Not just my head, but my entire body so they know they have my full attention.  I personally don't prefer to talk to people who can't even look at me, it's actually kind of annoying.  Like dang, you can't put your phone down for a second to speak, or you can't spare 30 seconds out of your day to look at me.  I've worked places where I would say good morning to people walking in and they would keep their heads turned away from me and just give me a wave.  Wow, what you're doing is that important in life.  Okay buddy.  I'm going to say it, work is not that important when there is a live breathing human being.  Of course you can't diddy daddle around talking forever, however there's nothing wrong with brief eye contact and a hello.  

When you're present with another human you get to see their facial expressions and their body language, which at times says way more then what's coming out of their mouth audibly.  You can read a lot about a person by paying attention to their body language.  

Being present with children is extremely important.  After all you're showing them how to be present by exampling being present and without talking about being present.  You're teaching them how to communicate.  

Being present in nature is so amazing to let go of your thoughts and take awareness of the sound of the wind, birds singing, dogs barking, a lizard running through the brush, the precise trail of ants, the forms of the trees, the beautiful colors.  There is so much to take note of in nature that remind you of how simple and delicate life really is.  

I love to be present with our pets and watch them play, they are hilarious to watch and most importantly they enjoy and love the attention of me being present with them.  Have you noticed how pets will look you in the eyes?  

I love being present with my baby boy in the oven and feeling his kicks and movements.  What a wonderful feeling to feel his life inside of me!!!  I can't help but smile. 

A lot of being present for me means to turn off my thoughts and BE!  Turning off your thoughts is something we can all do, just stop thinking and BE!  It's so enjoyable.  

Try being present with the next person you are with and instead of thinking of your agenda and the point you don't need to make, the opinion you don't need to give, the judgment you can keep to yourself, the gossip that's garbage, just be present and listen.  Be present with your children, with your pets, with nature, with your co-workers, while washing dishes, while taking a bath.  Throw your thoughts out and turn them off and just be.  You can do it you human you, I believe in you.  

Why Leaving the Negativity Out of Family Communication Will Increase Healthy Relationships

So many families these days are blended with Step Siblings, Step Mothers, Step Fathers, and Step Grandparents compiling a big mixing bowl of new family members.  Not only are families blended with new brothers and sisters but also mixed with new cultures.  Our family comprises it all.

My parents divorced I believe almost 10 years ago now, crazy how time just pushes along and years have went by.  They are both re-married now and with their new marriages came new Step Parents and five new Step Siblings.  I can honestly say I get along well with all of of my Step Siblings and love each of their uniqueness and new personalities they bring.  I've had some highs and lows with my Step Parents and at the end of the day I check myself and remind myself that these are the people my parents chose out of love and just as any relationship there will be arguments and disagreements and most importantly am I judging them more harshly because they aren't my biological parents?  Am I treating them with love?

I was one of those who thought my parents would never divorce so when it happened it was like pigs flying to me.  Parents divorce doesn't only impact the parents but the children as well know matter what age they might be.  I was in my late twenties when my parents divorced and couldn't image their home breaking apart and at the time couldn't imagine them moving on to other people, it didn't even cross my mind.

What I've learned from my parents divorce along with many other friends and families members divorces is that if it ever happens to me, which I hope it doesn't that I will have to accept that my once partner will be in a new relationship with new children.  I will have to accept that another women may nurture my children as if they are her own and they will develop relationships with a new family.  Your children will always view you as their Mother or fFather because the love of a biological mother or father can't be replaced.  

With divorce or dissolve in a relationship you can either hate the person you're Ex Wife/Ex Husband/Ex Boyfriend/Ex Girlfriend is with or you can accept them.  Talking down about the new spouse of an ex lover to your children doesn't help, nor does talking down about your ex to your children know matter what the age.  It only makes you come across as jealous and unable to adapt.  Allowing your children to decide about the people in their lives should be completely left up to them and most importantly for you, now it's time to move forward with your happiness.  You can either continue to reflect on what could've been, how things were, how you were treated, what could've been done differently, how your ex treats their new partner differently then how they treated you, not wanting your children to develop new relationships with families, but where will this get you?  Your children know matter what shouldn't have to hear these things.  If you're saying these things, STOP!  Keep your negativity to yourself.  Instead you can focus your energy on being the best person you can be and being happy while moving forward.

If you're now with someone you don't see a future in, change it!  Don't hold on for comfort, run and change it fast because years will go on and you will continue to feel uncomfortableness.  Be an example of what a happy person is, be an example of positive change, be an example of moving forward, be an example of not speaking negatively about others, be an example of only being in a relationship if it's complete love and acceptance, be an example!

I remember years ago being in a relationship in which my partner had a child and the child's mother would send me nasty/rude texts and call me saying such negative things about me and my partner.  I could've lowered myself to her level but instead I chose to not let her negatively impact the way in which I treat her child, I never spoke negatively about her, and when I saw her I acknowledged her presence saying hi with a smile on my face everytime.  Don't let another person rob you of your happiness.  To be honest they're not the ones robbing you, you're robbing yourself.  You have a choice to choose happiness or bitter resentment and anger.  Happiness is always a better choice.

Please refrain from telling your children know matter what the age they are choosing another Mother and Father over you.  Don't guilt trip them.  Instead take a step back and re-analyze yourself while asking self, am I being love?  Could there be something I could be doing differently in a positive way.  Don't put expectations on your children, if they don't come around enough you can let them know you love spending time with them and bring up happy memories.  Refrain from putting it on them because you may just be doing something that's pushing them away.  You can ask if you are, but don't place the blame all on them.  If you ask, accept their response without being defensive and perhaps you can then ask how the relationship can move forward in a loving positive way.  It's hard for people to accept answers they don't want to hear, swallow your pride and focus on the love.

If you want a child/friend/partner to spend more time with you then start initiating.  Perhaps they need time to realize again that you are a safe place, so call them and have brief conversations keeping it all positive and one day these conversations will get longer and longer with face to face contact next.  People like to talk to people who speak happiness and positivity.  Don't speak negatively about anyone in your conversation know matter how you may feel about another, if you can't refrain from speaking negatively about them then don't bring them up.  If the other person brings them up you can say things like, "I wish them happiness," "I hope all is well with them,"  or simply change the subject.  It's that simple.  But don't intentionally bring your negativity into the conversation.  When you find yourself thinking, I wish this person would call me or come over, call them and have light convo.  Call them and set up a date to get together.  If they break the date they may just need more time.  It's not up to you to decide if it's been to long, simply just keep reaching out in a loving way.  Be love.

Yesterday I spent such a good day with my Mother, Father, Stepmother, Mother-in-law, and Love of my life.  We went to our Baby Boys 3D/4D ultrasound and we were all together.  Everyone got along and there was no negativity, it was such a memorable experience.  It was nice to see that my Mother and Father could be in the same room together and smile and be happy.  I hope you are able to provide that type of experience for your children as well.

BE LOVE, BE HAPPY.

How are Pets Therapeutic and Beneficial to Life?

I'm not talking about sit down across from your pet and let them do therapy with you... or am I?  Pets can be some of the best medicine.  We have an Italian Mastiff named Brew and two cats named Fester and Tigger who are currently sleeping on top of my feet hogging all the room.  I love them!

Have you ever had a bad day, which I'm sure you have you human and needed to calm down or get your mind off of things.  Instead of picking up the phone and calling a friend or family member with your negativity, instead of posting it on social media making you look like a poor me Debbie Downer, instead of drinking or smoking your problems away giving you a hangover, why don't you try spending some quality time with your pets.

Some days I just pause and watch my two cats.  These two are a comedy show!  They hunt each other, slap each other in the face with their paws, they play tag, they steal each others toys, they play fight, they steal my stuff, they are hilarious to watch and really do make me laugh out loud.  Tigger walks past the same spot on the floor everyday all day long and at least once a day he tries to attack the spot on the floor.  He will do back flips, jump at it with all his might, tap at it, it's as if the spot comes to life once or twice a day and talks crap to him and he tries to get back at it.  He's hilarious to watch with his spot on the floor.  They have me going from dull to happiness in a heartbeat!

Pets can change your mood for the better.  I find myself holding my phone about to do who knows what that I don't need to do and when one of my furry family members jumps on my lap rubbing against my phone I can't help but put my phone down and spend time with them.  Their fully present minds help me to keep in check and remind myself, this is the only moment I have, why not spend it with a being that has a heartbeat who loves me unconditionally instead of picking my phone back up to do nothingness.

Pets love us sooooooooooo much and we need to ensure we are giving them that same love back.  Why and how are pets beneficial to life?  Well Honey here's a list;

1) Pets decrease loneliness
2) Pets increase happiness
3) Pets decrease depression
4) Pets reduce anxiety
5) Pets bring you back to the present moment
6) Pets love you unconditionally
7) You are your pets happiness
8) Pets are hilarious to watch
9) Pets give you a since of loyalty
10) Pets lower your stress levels
11) Pets give you someone to cuddle with
12) Pets increase your activity, go walk your dog
13) Pets are great date magnets
14) Pets provide companionship
15) Pets decrease Alzheimer outbursts
16) Pets increase your alive days on Earth
17) Pets lower blood pressure
18) Pets increase levels of serotonin and dopamine in your body
19) Pets love you know matter what
20) Pets improve your cardiovascular health
21) Walking your dog increases your social interactions with other humans

I can go on and on with why and how pets are beneficial to your life.  If you don't have a pet you should get one.  If you have a pet I hope you increase the time you spend with your furry bundle of love.

I love when I get home from anywhere and how our two cats and dog run to the door to greet me.  I make sure to stop and pet all three and say hi to them and show them I missed them as well and love them oh so much!

Yes, you can just sit and talk to your pet and they will look at you tilting their heads and rubbing up against you and remind you that no matter what, everything is okay.

Why You Should Encourage Your Partner to Pursue Their Hobbies and Projects

When you're not working what do you find yourself doing?

This is what I do when I'm not working; blog, photography, and of course watch some movies.  But when it comes to hobbies or projects, blogging and photography are at the top of my list.  

This post came about because I found myself getting frustrated with my love for his hobbies and projects.  He stays up late sometimes working on his hobbies and/or projects and when he's not in the bed I can't sleep as well.  I was starting to make my problem his problem until I quickly checked myself.  Thank goodness I can step back and take a holistic view and see the bigger picture looking outside of myself.  

When you do what you love as a human being it makes life that much more rewarding and enjoyable.  With that said I definitely don't want to nor will I get on him anymore about coming to bed when he's lost in time with his hobbies because these are things that make him smile and happy.  I also realized how I've slacked off on my blog and photography which I've dived back into and realized how much I missed my hobbies!  At 27 weeks pregnant now I get tired faster throughout the day which has caused me to slack off on my hobbies, however I'm making sure to fit them back in because after all, these are things I love to do.

Do you have hobbies which cause you to lose track of time?  If you're in a relationship do you have a hobby apart from your partner which brings you happiness?  I hope you do?  If you feel you don't, seriously take a moment and think about what brings you joy when you do it and what causes you to lose track of time.  

Have you made the same mistake I have in coming down on your partner for spending time on their hobbies?  If so it's good to go back to them and let them know you want them to enjoy the things they do in life and if that something brings them joy to keep doing it!  In relationships we bring love to one another and at the same time we have to realize our partners have lives outside of us and encouraging them to do things they love is also showing them how much you love them and their happiness.  

Take time and jot down a list of at least 10 things you love to do.  If you're list goes beyond 10, AMAZING!  If you can't come up with even a few then increase your awareness of yourself as you go about your day so you can take notice of what brings you joy when you're doing it.  You can even look back to your childhood and recall what you daydreamed of doing or brought you happiness.  Chances are those things are most likely the same things you enjoy doing today.  

With that said, hobby on my loves!  Go do something you love!

Smile

How often do you smile?  The simple act of smiling can brighten your mood, another's mood, and increase your overall happines.

Smiling looks good on you!  Try it!

:)

Putting Your Phone Away Can Increase Healthy Relationships

Albert Einstein said "I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots." I don't know if Mr. Einstein said this, but if he did, I totally agree!!!


Have you noticed how everyone is constantly on their phone? Next time you go out to eat take a look around and notice how many people are on their phones as opposed to actually having physical human interaction and communicating with one another. The very presence of a cell phone on a breakfast, lunch, or dinner table impedes human interaction. How so? The person who owns the phone on the table feels the need to constantly check their phone, update where they are, see what others are up to instead of communicating with the one in front of them, the phone beeps or rings, causing live communication to come to a halt. Is it really that difficult to put a phone away for a 30min-45min meal with a live human being. But, can you do more then put it away, can you actually silence your phone? Wow, I know that's a big one, to put it away and silence it! How involved do you need to be with the outside world when you are having live human contact and connection?


Cell phones have always bothered me since they came about. Yes, I do own a cell phone. I have one of the fancy Galaxy Note 8 phones that cost way to much money. I'm guilty of spending to much money on a phone like the rest of society, however I'm not guilty of constantly reaching for my phone and having it on breakfast, lunch, or dinner tables. I'm not guilty of meeting up with a friend or family member and being on my phone checking social media/shopping/updating/searching, I'm not guilty of using my phone as a crutch during moments of silence with friends and family. After all moments of silence are a great time to reflect upon one another and the conversation at hand. Or to simply look around the room and be observant or look around outside and notice earth.


I will not silence my children by putting a tablet or phone in their face. Instead, I will interact with them and communicate with them. I've heard numerous children and even teenagers say they feel as if their parent or parents care more about their cell phone then interacting with them. That's just horrible and sad.


Humans have became so reliant on their phones for directions to where the simple act of navigating their own town or city is difficult without map quest. I've noticed numerous teenagers who can't read an analogue clock and can only tell time by digital. I've noticed so many people who don't know the difference between North, East, South, and West. Are we talking to our children and teaching them or are we checking in on other peoples lives on our cell phones as opposed to building a genuine relationship with another in person.


I don't have many friends because I don't believe social media is a way of keeping in contact and having genuine relationships. I prefer a phone call or meeting in person. Yes, it is nice to see pictures of friends and family on social media, however it's even better to have a live conversation. When was the last time you took the time to hand write someone a letter and send someone actual physical pictures through the mail?


I do believe cell phones can cause a negative impact on relationships, which is why if you ever share a meal with me you will not see my cell phone out. Live human interaction is so much better, genuine, and relationship building. The person on the phone can wait until I'm free to give them a call or text back. I'd rather build with the person right in front me.

Dance on Baby! Dance on!

Do you dance?  You know how it feels when you hear YOUR song and you can't help but bob your head, tap your foot, sing out loud, close your eyes and move your head, or stand up and dance.  Dancing does wonders for the body, the soul, the mind, and your happiness!

I'm THAT PERSON that just gets up and dances.  I can be alone, getting dressed, in a bar, and what makes me love being me is I don't need to drink to move and groove in public.  When I feel it I jam!  If you're like me, amazing.  If not, why not?  Yes, I know we are all different but what's stopping you from busting a move?  I use to be afraid to dance in front of others, then one day I realized I don't care what other people think, why should I?  Are you afraid people are looking?  Are you afraid of what people are thinking about you?  Who cares.  Most likely they're thinking I wish I had that much courage, I wish I could just let loose and not care, I wish I could be more free.  So inspire yourself and by doing so you inspire others to free themselves.

Do you feel you don't have rhythm?  Once again, whether you have the rhythm you want or not don't let that stop you from moving and grooving to your own rhythm.  Remember dancing is about moving to YOUR BEAT!  You don't need to know the latest dance moves or the the newest songs, dancing is about the freedom and beat you feel from within and expressing it in YOUR way.

What does dancing do for you?  Baby let me tell you...
1) makes you feel free
2) releases endorphins
3) gives you a dancers high
4) tones the body
5) gives you a since of individuality
6) improves your mood
7) gives a since of satisfaction
8) decreases depression
9) eliminates depression
10) reduces anxiety
11) promotes happiness
12) increases energy
13) lowers stress
14) promotes weight loss
15) tones your body
16) gives you in overall since of happiness while you're inspiring others to get up and let loose!

There are so many amazing benefits of the simple act of dancing.  Stop being afraid to be you, stop being afraid to express yourself in YOUR way, get up and bust YOUR move!  Next time you're home and feeling stressed, worried, anxious, sad, or mad turn on some music that you love and just dance!

I love that the love of my life will just turn on music and dance.  He will walk up to me, grab me and we just start dancing!  I absolutely love this about him among other things.  He's not afraid to be himself nor is he afraid to enjoy himself through the simple act of dancing.  I fall in love with him more and more each time I see how free he is in his mind and body.

Dance with your kids, dance alone, dance with your love, dance with your family, dance with strangers, dance at events, dance at the bar, whatever you do please don't be afraid to dance!

Now turn on something that will get you moving and get up and DANCE!

Did You Know You're a Role Model At Any Age?

Yes, You!  You're a role model.  Everywhere you go people are watching you; your non verbal communication, your audible communication, the way in which you carry yourself, the way you dress, walk, help others, facial expressions, everything.

Age has nothing to do with it.  Little kids are role models all the way up through adults.  Have you ever watched children play or interact with one another or even with adults and noticed how some will help each other out, steal, offer adults a helping hand, give a crying child their toy, and even their mannerisms.  We can lean from children just as children learn from children.  Being a role model has nothing to do with age or birth order.

For a day or even a couple of hours increase your awareness of self and pay attention to everything you do at the end of the day or the next couple hours and ask yourself; would I want to be anything like me?  Am I nice to others?  Do I help people out?  Did I give my last?  Do I use profanity throughout the day?  Did I put others down?  Was I negative?  This is a good way to have a self check-in to see what type of behaviors and responses you are putting out to the rest of the world.

When you are walking through the store, standing in line, arguing on your cell phone, making faces, babies and adults alike are watching you.  They are thinking I don't want to be anything like that person, I hope I don't treat people like that, wow that was really nice what he/she did, I love that outfit I should try something like that, I can't believe a little kid opened the door for me when I don't do that for others, etc.  I challenge you to be one in which people learn from and want to be like.  I'm not saying be exactly like you as we are all different, however I am saying gain your positivity, generosity, compassion, unconditional positive regard, and happiness.  I'm asking you to challenge yourself to be love.

As you go about your day, go about it in a way in which you can increase happiness in both yourself and others.  I'm sure you've heard service to others is very rewarding and fulfilling so start opening the door for strangers, smile at every baby you see, wear a smile on your face, compliment someone, pick up a piece of trash you see on the ground, turn toward being positive and completely shy away from negativity through your talk and mannerisms.

We are all watching, so be someone worth watching, be someone your kids, nephews, nieces, brothers sisters, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and strangers can see as a positive role model.

You are a role model!

Are you in a relationship just to be in one?

I was single for three years before I met the love of my life.  People would tell me, you're in your 30's and approaching mid 30's what are you waiting for?  Why don't you just get into a relationship?  When are you going to have kids? What are you waiting for, you're not getting any younger.

Are you in a relationship just to be in one?  Have you asked yourself this question?  Heres some things to consider;

1) Are you in love or feeling it growing to love?
2) Do more things bother you about your partner then make you happy?
3) Do you complain to other people about your partner?
4) Do you enjoy spending a lot of time with your partner?
5) Do you prefer to vacation without your partner?
6) Do you look at your partner and think, I'm so lucky to have found you...
7) Do you cuddle with your partner?
8) If you are a public affection being, do you show public affection with your partner?
9) At the end of the day do you think, I can't wait to see him/her?
10) Do they broaden your horizons?
11) Do they make you want to be a better person just by being with them?
12) Do you genuinely accept your partner?
13) Are you wishing you were with someone else?
14) Are you happy with your partners short comings?

Think about your answers to these questions and your happiness.  Your happiness is extremely important, after all at then end of the day when you close your eyes you are with yourself and it's good to have good reflections of the day.

I personally spent time in relationships I shouldn't have been in at all because I THOUGHT that was what I wanted until one day I said that's enough of this crap of being around someone I don't really enjoy and can't wait to get away from.  So from that day I decided I would be single until I met THE ONE.  I wouldn't go on repeated dates with people I knew I had zero future with, wouldn't repeat dates of those who annoyed me, wouldn't be with someone just for their title-which I never did, I chose to put myself first before everything and I mean everything!  My family probably felt I was floating in directions I shouldn't, but I was doing everything I loved and enjoyed doing it because after all I would rather meet someone while I'm doing something I love even if society doesn't agree with it.  I'm not trying to please society or my family or anyone else, just me.  That's a hard pill for some to swallow.

So what did I do?  I wandered, I took pictures and re-found my love for photography, I became a nudist and worked at a nudist resort, I begin to learn guitar, I read, I would wake up and just go wherever I wanted, I saw every movie I wanted to see, I sat on many beaches, played in the ocean, met new friends, went to galleries, smoked weed-hehe (not telling you to go smoke), took random road trips, laughed a lot, moved around to different cities, bought a macbook and begin writing, started my blog, started my Instagram, gave up Facebook-as it didn't and still doesn't suit me, I DID ME and enjoyed every moment of it!  I did this for almost four years, I did me!

Then one day I joined Plenty of Fish, yep I did it.  I wrote an honest profile and put up REAL pictures of myself.  Five months later I met the love of my life who completely accepts me for me and I completely accept him for him and now we have a baby on the way!

While I was out doing me for almost four years I never thought I needed to be in a relationship.  I was to busy having a relationship with myself and getting back in touch with me!  One thing I did know is I wouldn't settle and I won't.  If I happen to fall in love I will make sure it's the love of my life and not just be in a relationship to be in one.  Have you ever had a conversation with someone who is just with someone to be with someone, they sound terrible.  I stopped feeling bad for these types of people because every single day they/you have a choice to change your life, every second of everyday!  They/you choose to stay and for what reasons?

List of BS reasons people use...
1) we have kids together, well your kids are learning unhappy relationships from you!
2) we have a home together, stop being materialistic and sell that thing and go start your life!
3) we're comfortable together, doesn't sound like it from the look on your face and the way you complain about him/her..
4) we have a vacation coming up, cancel it and go on one by yourself and watch how many new friends you meet and how much more fun you have without him/her
5) were planning on buying a home, don't do it! Run while you have the chance!
6) we have to many bills together, you can pay bills while not being with someone smarty!
7) what will the neighbors say?  Are the neighbors living your life and are you living to please your neighbors?  STOP!  Go slap yourself!
8) what will my family say?  Are you living to paint a facade of a life and living for other people?  STOP!
Whatever excuse you have, it's BULLSHIT! Wake up already start living for you!