Quality Time With My Family Is The Best Time

I don't want to me a Mommy who just wants to get things done.  I want to be a Mommy who spends quality time with my baby boy and my family first.  Quality time is something you can never get back nor try to replace.  Quality time for me means putting my phone down and giving my family my undivided attention.  Through my Mental Health Career over the years I learned children and teenagers just want their parents to put their phones down.  I don't want my children to feel that social media is more important then them because it's not.  Social media is a facade of a life where people paint pictures of either what they want their lives to be or flat out lie.  Yes, I have a Facebook and an Instagram but it doesn't run my life.  I hope to have my children gain from me, you don't need your phone in front of you 24/7.

Laundry will eventually get done, the dishes will get done and I'm fine with putting them off because I would rather see my son's smile, talk to my Man when he gets home from work, eat dinner together, cuddle up on the couch with my family.  These are all things which can't be replaced.  When I feed my son I don't answer the phone.  When my family is watching a movie or eating dinner together-I don't answer the phone because phone life can wait, this is family time.

When I go to my family members home's I make an effort to set my phone down and even better, leave it in my purse on vibrate because people calling and texting can wait.  I would rather give my family my undivided attention then run for my phone.  Yes, at times I do wish cell phones never happened.  They are fun, but what if they never happened?  Humans would actually be forced to talk to one another.  It's the most annoying thing to me when someone is holding my baby and then freak out because OMG their phone is going off and they make a mad dash to get to their phone.  Okay you phone controlled human, give me my baby back!  NOW!

When you're around your family remember what quality time is.  Talk to one another, if you're going to bring up the person's past speak about things which lift them up-don't focus on their past failures nor negative personality traits.  Build them up!  Put your phone down and if you're brave enough turn it off or put it on silent out of eye site because that person calling you or texting you can wait.  Theres nothing like the time you spend with someone uninterrupted when they are physically in front of you.

Now go be a nice human.

Why You Should Encourage Your Partner to Pursue Their Hobbies and Projects

When you're not working what do you find yourself doing?

This is what I do when I'm not working; blog, photography, and of course watch some movies.  But when it comes to hobbies or projects, blogging and photography are at the top of my list.  

This post came about because I found myself getting frustrated with my love for his hobbies and projects.  He stays up late sometimes working on his hobbies and/or projects and when he's not in the bed I can't sleep as well.  I was starting to make my problem his problem until I quickly checked myself.  Thank goodness I can step back and take a holistic view and see the bigger picture looking outside of myself.  

When you do what you love as a human being it makes life that much more rewarding and enjoyable.  With that said I definitely don't want to nor will I get on him anymore about coming to bed when he's lost in time with his hobbies because these are things that make him smile and happy.  I also realized how I've slacked off on my blog and photography which I've dived back into and realized how much I missed my hobbies!  At 27 weeks pregnant now I get tired faster throughout the day which has caused me to slack off on my hobbies, however I'm making sure to fit them back in because after all, these are things I love to do.

Do you have hobbies which cause you to lose track of time?  If you're in a relationship do you have a hobby apart from your partner which brings you happiness?  I hope you do?  If you feel you don't, seriously take a moment and think about what brings you joy when you do it and what causes you to lose track of time.  

Have you made the same mistake I have in coming down on your partner for spending time on their hobbies?  If so it's good to go back to them and let them know you want them to enjoy the things they do in life and if that something brings them joy to keep doing it!  In relationships we bring love to one another and at the same time we have to realize our partners have lives outside of us and encouraging them to do things they love is also showing them how much you love them and their happiness.  

Take time and jot down a list of at least 10 things you love to do.  If you're list goes beyond 10, AMAZING!  If you can't come up with even a few then increase your awareness of yourself as you go about your day so you can take notice of what brings you joy when you're doing it.  You can even look back to your childhood and recall what you daydreamed of doing or brought you happiness.  Chances are those things are most likely the same things you enjoy doing today.  

With that said, hobby on my loves!  Go do something you love!

Putting Your Phone Away Can Increase Healthy Relationships

Albert Einstein said "I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots." I don't know if Mr. Einstein said this, but if he did, I totally agree!!!


Have you noticed how everyone is constantly on their phone? Next time you go out to eat take a look around and notice how many people are on their phones as opposed to actually having physical human interaction and communicating with one another. The very presence of a cell phone on a breakfast, lunch, or dinner table impedes human interaction. How so? The person who owns the phone on the table feels the need to constantly check their phone, update where they are, see what others are up to instead of communicating with the one in front of them, the phone beeps or rings, causing live communication to come to a halt. Is it really that difficult to put a phone away for a 30min-45min meal with a live human being. But, can you do more then put it away, can you actually silence your phone? Wow, I know that's a big one, to put it away and silence it! How involved do you need to be with the outside world when you are having live human contact and connection?


Cell phones have always bothered me since they came about. Yes, I do own a cell phone. I have one of the fancy Galaxy Note 8 phones that cost way to much money. I'm guilty of spending to much money on a phone like the rest of society, however I'm not guilty of constantly reaching for my phone and having it on breakfast, lunch, or dinner tables. I'm not guilty of meeting up with a friend or family member and being on my phone checking social media/shopping/updating/searching, I'm not guilty of using my phone as a crutch during moments of silence with friends and family. After all moments of silence are a great time to reflect upon one another and the conversation at hand. Or to simply look around the room and be observant or look around outside and notice earth.


I will not silence my children by putting a tablet or phone in their face. Instead, I will interact with them and communicate with them. I've heard numerous children and even teenagers say they feel as if their parent or parents care more about their cell phone then interacting with them. That's just horrible and sad.


Humans have became so reliant on their phones for directions to where the simple act of navigating their own town or city is difficult without map quest. I've noticed numerous teenagers who can't read an analogue clock and can only tell time by digital. I've noticed so many people who don't know the difference between North, East, South, and West. Are we talking to our children and teaching them or are we checking in on other peoples lives on our cell phones as opposed to building a genuine relationship with another in person.


I don't have many friends because I don't believe social media is a way of keeping in contact and having genuine relationships. I prefer a phone call or meeting in person. Yes, it is nice to see pictures of friends and family on social media, however it's even better to have a live conversation. When was the last time you took the time to hand write someone a letter and send someone actual physical pictures through the mail?


I do believe cell phones can cause a negative impact on relationships, which is why if you ever share a meal with me you will not see my cell phone out. Live human interaction is so much better, genuine, and relationship building. The person on the phone can wait until I'm free to give them a call or text back. I'd rather build with the person right in front me.

Are you in a relationship just to be in one?

I was single for three years before I met the love of my life.  People would tell me, you're in your 30's and approaching mid 30's what are you waiting for?  Why don't you just get into a relationship?  When are you going to have kids? What are you waiting for, you're not getting any younger.

Are you in a relationship just to be in one?  Have you asked yourself this question?  Heres some things to consider;

1) Are you in love or feeling it growing to love?
2) Do more things bother you about your partner then make you happy?
3) Do you complain to other people about your partner?
4) Do you enjoy spending a lot of time with your partner?
5) Do you prefer to vacation without your partner?
6) Do you look at your partner and think, I'm so lucky to have found you...
7) Do you cuddle with your partner?
8) If you are a public affection being, do you show public affection with your partner?
9) At the end of the day do you think, I can't wait to see him/her?
10) Do they broaden your horizons?
11) Do they make you want to be a better person just by being with them?
12) Do you genuinely accept your partner?
13) Are you wishing you were with someone else?
14) Are you happy with your partners short comings?

Think about your answers to these questions and your happiness.  Your happiness is extremely important, after all at then end of the day when you close your eyes you are with yourself and it's good to have good reflections of the day.

I personally spent time in relationships I shouldn't have been in at all because I THOUGHT that was what I wanted until one day I said that's enough of this crap of being around someone I don't really enjoy and can't wait to get away from.  So from that day I decided I would be single until I met THE ONE.  I wouldn't go on repeated dates with people I knew I had zero future with, wouldn't repeat dates of those who annoyed me, wouldn't be with someone just for their title-which I never did, I chose to put myself first before everything and I mean everything!  My family probably felt I was floating in directions I shouldn't, but I was doing everything I loved and enjoyed doing it because after all I would rather meet someone while I'm doing something I love even if society doesn't agree with it.  I'm not trying to please society or my family or anyone else, just me.  That's a hard pill for some to swallow.

So what did I do?  I wandered, I took pictures and re-found my love for photography, I became a nudist and worked at a nudist resort, I begin to learn guitar, I read, I would wake up and just go wherever I wanted, I saw every movie I wanted to see, I sat on many beaches, played in the ocean, met new friends, went to galleries, smoked weed-hehe (not telling you to go smoke), took random road trips, laughed a lot, moved around to different cities, bought a macbook and begin writing, started my blog, started my Instagram, gave up Facebook-as it didn't and still doesn't suit me, I DID ME and enjoyed every moment of it!  I did this for almost four years, I did me!

Then one day I joined Plenty of Fish, yep I did it.  I wrote an honest profile and put up REAL pictures of myself.  Five months later I met the love of my life who completely accepts me for me and I completely accept him for him and now we have a baby on the way!

While I was out doing me for almost four years I never thought I needed to be in a relationship.  I was to busy having a relationship with myself and getting back in touch with me!  One thing I did know is I wouldn't settle and I won't.  If I happen to fall in love I will make sure it's the love of my life and not just be in a relationship to be in one.  Have you ever had a conversation with someone who is just with someone to be with someone, they sound terrible.  I stopped feeling bad for these types of people because every single day they/you have a choice to change your life, every second of everyday!  They/you choose to stay and for what reasons?

List of BS reasons people use...
1) we have kids together, well your kids are learning unhappy relationships from you!
2) we have a home together, stop being materialistic and sell that thing and go start your life!
3) we're comfortable together, doesn't sound like it from the look on your face and the way you complain about him/her..
4) we have a vacation coming up, cancel it and go on one by yourself and watch how many new friends you meet and how much more fun you have without him/her
5) were planning on buying a home, don't do it! Run while you have the chance!
6) we have to many bills together, you can pay bills while not being with someone smarty!
7) what will the neighbors say?  Are the neighbors living your life and are you living to please your neighbors?  STOP!  Go slap yourself!
8) what will my family say?  Are you living to paint a facade of a life and living for other people?  STOP!
Whatever excuse you have, it's BULLSHIT! Wake up already start living for you!