Wednesday, February 21, 2018

Hobbies and Projects

When you're not working what do you find yourself doing?

This is what I do when I'm not working; blog, photography, and of course watch some movies.  But when it comes to hobbies or projects blogging and photography are at the top of my list.  

This post came about because I found myself getting frustrated with my love for his hobbies and projects.  He stays up late sometimes working on his hobbies and/or projects and when he's not in the bed I can't sleep as well.  I was starting to make my problem his problem until I quickly checked myself.  Thank goodness I can step back and take a holistic view and see the bigger picture looking outside of myself.  

When you do what you love as a human being it makes life that much rewarding and enjoyable.  With that said I definitely don't want to nor will I get on him anymore about coming to bed when he's lost in time with his hobbies because these are things that make him smile and happy.  I also realized how I've slacked off on my blog and photography which I've dived back into and realized how much I missed my hobbies!  At 27 weeks pregnant now I get tired faster throughout the day which has caused me to slack off on my hobbies, however I'm making sure to fit them back in because after all these are things I love to do.

Do you have hobbies which cause you to lose track of time?  If you're in a relationship do you have a hobby apart from your partner which brings you happiness?  I hope you do?  If you feel you don't, seriously take a moment and think about what brings you joy when you do it and what causes you to lose track of time.  

Have you made the same mistake I have in coming down on your partner for spending time on their hobbies?  If so it's good to go back to them and let them know you want them to enjoy the things they do in life and if that something brings them joy to keep doing it!  In relationships we bring love to one another and at the same time we have to realize our partners have lives outside of us and encouraging them to do things they love is also showing them how much you love them and their happiness.  

Take time and jot down a list of at least 10 things you love to do.  If you're list goes beyond 10, AMAZING!  If you can't come up with even a few then increase your awareness of yourself as you go about your day so you can take notice of what brings you joy when you're doing it.  You can even look back to your childhood and recall what you daydreamed of doing or brought you happiness.  Chances are those things are most likely the same things you enjoy doing today.  

With that said, hobby on my loves!  Go do something you love!

Tuesday, February 20, 2018


How often do you smile?  The simple act of smiling can brighten your mood, another's mood, and increase your overall happines.

Smiling looks good on you!  Try it!


Monday, February 19, 2018


Albert Einstein said "I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots." I don't know if Mr. Einstein said this, but if he did, I totally agree!!!

Have you noticed how everyone is constantly on their phone? Next time you go out to eat take a look around and notice how many people are on their phones as opposed to actually having physical human interaction and communicating with one another. The very presence of a cell phone on a breakfast, lunch, or dinner table impedes human interaction. How so? The person who owns the phone on the table feels the need to constantly check their phone, update where they are, see what others are up to instead of communicating with the one in front of them, the phone beeps or rings, causing live communication to come to a halt. Is it really that difficult to put a phone away for a 30min-45min meal with a live human being. But, can you do more then put it away, can you actually silence your phone? Wow, I know that's a big one, to put it away and silence it! How involved do you need to be with the outside world when you are having live human contact and connection?

Cell phones have always bothered me since they came about. Yes, I do own a cell phone. I have one of the fancy Galaxy Note 8 phones that cost way to much money. I'm guilty of spending to much money on a phone like the rest of society, however I'm not guilty of constantly reaching for my phone and having it on breakfast, lunch, or dinner tables. I'm not guilty of meeting up with a friend or family member and being on my phone checking social media/shopping/updating/searching, I'm not guilty of using my phone as a crutch during moments of silence with friends and family. After all moments of silence are a great time to reflect upon one another and the conversation at hand. Or to simply look around the room and be observant or look around outside and notice earth.

I will not silence my children by putting a tablet or phone in their face. Instead, I will interact with them and communicate with them. I've heard numerous children and even teenagers say they feel as if their parent or parents care more about their cell phone then interacting with them. That's just horrible and sad.

Humans have became so reliant on their phones for directions to where the simple act of navigating their own town or city is difficult without map quest. I've noticed numerous teenagers who can't read an analogue clock and can only tell time by digital. I've noticed so many people who don't know the difference between North, East, South, and West. Are we talking to our children and teaching them or are we checking in on other peoples lives on our cell phones as opposed to building a genuine relationship with another in person.

I don't have many friends because I don't believe social media is a way of keeping in contact and having genuine relationships. I prefer a phone call or meeting in person. Yes, it is nice to see pictures of friends and family on social media, however it's even better to have a live conversation. When was the last time you took the time to hand write someone a letter and send someone actual physical pictures through the mail?

I do believe cell phones can cause a negative impact on relationships, which is why if you ever share a meal with me you will not see my cell phone out. Live human interaction is so much better, genuine, and relationship building. The person on the phone can wait until I'm free to give them a call or text back. I'd rather build with the person right in front me.

Wednesday, January 17, 2018

Dance on Baby! Dance on!

Do you dance?  You know how it feels when you hear YOUR song and you can't help but bob your head, tap your foot, sing out loud, close your eyes and move your head, or stand up and dance.  Dancing does wonders for the body, the soul, the mind, and your happiness!

I'm THAT PERSON that just gets up and dances.  I can be alone, getting dressed, in a bar, and what makes me love being me is I don't need to drink to move and groove in public.  When I feel it I jam!  If you're like me, amazing.  If not, why not?  Yes, I know we are all different but what's stopping you from busting a move?  I use to be afraid to dance in front of others, then one day I realized I don't care what other people think, why should I?  Are you afraid people are looking?  Are you afraid of what people are thinking about you?  Who cares.  Most likely they're thinking I wish I had that much courage, I wish I could just let loose and not care, I wish I could be more free.  So inspire yourself and by doing so you inspire others to free themselves.

Do you feel you don't have rhythm?  Once again, whether you have the rhythm you want or not don't let that stop you from moving and grooving to your own rhythm.  Remember dancing is about moving to YOUR BEAT!  You don't need to know the latest dance moves or the the newest songs, dancing is about the freedom and beat you feel from within and expressing it in YOUR way.

What does dancing do for you?  Baby let me tell you...
1) makes you feel free
2) releases endorphins
3) gives you a dancers high
4) tones the body
5) gives you a since of individuality
6) improves your mood
7) gives a since of satisfaction
8) decreases depression
9) eliminates depression
10) reduces anxiety
11) promotes happiness
12) increases energy
13) lowers stress
14) promotes weight loss
15) tones your body
16) gives you in overall since of happiness while you're inspiring others to get up and let loose!

There are so many amazing benefits of the simple act of dancing.  Stop being afraid to be you, stop being afraid to express yourself in YOUR way, get up and bust YOUR move!  Next time you're home and feeling stressed, worried, anxious, sad, or mad turn on some music that you love and just dance!

I love that the love of my life will just turn on music and dance.  He will walk up to me, grab me and we just start dancing!  I absolutely love this about him among other things.  He's not afraid to be himself nor is he afraid to enjoy himself through the simple act of dancing.  I fall in love with him more and more each time I see how free he is in his mind and body.

Dance with your kids, dance alone, dance with your love, dance with your family, dance with strangers, dance at events, dance at the bar, whatever you do please don't be afraid to dance!

Now turn on something that will get you moving and get up and DANCE!

Thursday, January 11, 2018

You're a Role Model

Yes, You!  You're a role model.  Everywhere you go people are watching you; your non verbal communication, your audible communication, the way in which you carry yourself, the way you dress, walk, help others, facial expressions, everything.

Age has nothing to do with it.  Little kids are role models all the way up through adults.  Have you ever watched children play or interact with one another or even with adults and noticed how some will help each other out, steal, offer adults a helping hand, give a crying child their toy, and even their mannerisms.  We can lean from children just as children learn from children.  Being a role model has nothing to do with age or birth order.

For a day or even a couple of hours increase your awareness of self and pay attention to everything you do at the end of the day or the next couple hours and ask yourself; would I want to be anything like me?  Am I nice to others?  Do I help people out?  Did I give my last?  Do I use profanity throughout the day?  Did I put others down?  Was I negative?  This is a good way to have a self check-in to see what type of behaviors and responses you are putting out to the rest of the world.

When you are walking through the store, standing in line, arguing on your cell phone, making faces, babies and adults alike are watching you.  They are thinking I don't want to be anything like that person, I hope I don't treat people like that, wow that was really nice what he/she did, I love that outfit I should try something like that, I can't believe a little kid opened the door for me when I don't do that for others, etc.  I challenge you to be one in which people learn from and want to be like.  I'm not saying be exactly like you as we are all different, however I am saying gain your positivity, generosity, compassion, unconditional positive regard, and happiness.  I'm asking you to challenge yourself to be love.

As you go about your day, go about it in a way in which you can increase happiness in both yourself and others.  I'm sure you've heard service to others is very rewarding and fulfilling so start opening the door for strangers, smile at every baby you see, wear a smile on your face, compliment someone, pick up a piece of trash you see on the ground, turn toward being positive and completely shy away from negativity through your talk and mannerisms.

We are all watching, so be someone worth watching, be someone your kids, nephews, nieces, brothers sisters, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and strangers can see as a positive role model.

You are a role model!

Sunday, January 7, 2018

Are you in a relationship just to be in one?

I was single for three years before I met the love of my life.  People would tell me, you're in your 30's and approaching mid 30's what are you waiting for?  Why don't you just get into a relationship?  When are you going to have kids? What are you waiting for, you're not getting any younger.

Are you in a relationship just to be in one?  Have you asked yourself this question?  Heres some things to consider;

1) Are you in love or feeling it growing to love?
2) Do more things bother you about your partner then make you happy?
3) Do you complain to other people about your partner?
4) Do you enjoy spending a lot of time with your partner?
5) Do you prefer to vacation without your partner?
6) Do you look at your partner and think, I'm so lucky to have found you...
7) Do you cuddle with your partner?
8) If you are a public affection being, do you show public affection with your partner?
9) At the end of the day do you think, I can't wait to see him/her?
10) Do they broaden your horizons?
11) Do they make you want to be a better person just by being with them?
12) Do you genuinely accept your partner?
13) Are you wishing you were with someone else?
14) Are you happy with your partners short comings?

Think about your answers to these questions and your happiness.  Your happiness is extremely important, after all at then end of the day when you close your eyes you are with yourself and it's good to have good reflections of the day.

I personally spent time in relationships I shouldn't have been in at all because I THOUGHT that was what I wanted until one day I said that's enough of this crap of being around someone I don't really enjoy and can't wait to get away from.  So from that day I decided I would be single until I met THE ONE.  I wouldn't go on repeated dates with people I knew I had zero future with, wouldn't repeat dates of those who annoyed me, wouldn't be with someone just for their title-which I never did, I chose to put myself first before everything and I mean everything!  My family probably felt I was floating in directions I shouldn't, but I was doing everything I loved and enjoyed doing it because after all I would rather meet someone while I'm doing something I love even if society doesn't agree with it.  I'm not trying to please society or my family or anyone else, just me.  That's a hard pill for some to swallow.

So what did I do?  I wandered, I took pictures and re-found my love for photography, I became a nudist and worked at a nudist resort, I begin to learn guitar, I read, I would wake up and just go wherever I wanted, I saw every movie I wanted to see, I sat on many beaches, played in the ocean, met new friends, went to galleries, smoked weed-hehe (not telling you to go smoke), took random road trips, laughed a lot, moved around to different cities, bought a macbook and begin writing, started my blog, started my Instagram, gave up Facebook-as it didn't and still doesn't suit me, I DID ME and enjoyed every moment of it!  I did this for almost four years, I did me!

Then one day I joined Plenty of Fish, yep I did it.  I wrote an honest profile and put up REAL pictures of myself.  Five months later I met the love of my life who completely accepts me for me and I completely accept him for him and now we have a baby on the way!

While I was out doing me for almost four years I never thought I needed to be in a relationship.  I was to busy having a relationship with myself and getting back in touch with me!  One thing I did know is I wouldn't settle and I won't.  If I happen to fall in love I will make sure it's the love of my life and not just be in a relationship to be in one.  Have you ever had a conversation with someone who is just with someone to be with someone, they sound terrible.  I stopped feeling bad for these types of people because every single day they/you have a choice to change your life, every second of everyday!  They/you choose to stay and for what reasons?

List of BS reasons people use...
1) we have kids together, well your kids are learning unhappy relationships from you!
2) we have a home together, stop being materialistic and sell that thing and go start your life!
3) we're comfortable together, doesn't sound like it from the look on your face and the way you complain about him/her..
4) we have a vacation coming up, cancel it and go on one by yourself and watch how many new friends you meet and how much more fun you have without him/her
5) were planning on buying a home, don't do it! Run while you have the chance!
6) we have to many bills together, you can pay bills while not being with someone smarty!
7) what will the neighbors say?  Are the neighbors living your life and are you living to please your neighbors?  STOP!  Go slap yourself!
8) what will my family say?  Are you living to paint a facade of a life and living for other people?  STOP!
Whatever excuse you have, it's BULLSHIT! Wake up already start living for you!

Saturday, January 6, 2018

How's Your Mental Health? Are You Happy?

How is your mental health?

So many people spend hours upon hours in the gym elevating their physical health and then go back home to their slump of depression, anxiety, anger, or constant worry.  Are you one of those people?  Then there are those who don't invest into their physical health nor mental at all.  Are you one of those people?

Mental health is just as important as physical health, after all you're walking, laying, sitting, running, etc with yourself all day long, with YOUR thoughts which are in correlation with your mental health. The way you view yourself, others, and even the world is a direct result of your mental health.

Let's take a moment and see where you stand?  Ask yourself a few questions...

1) Are you happy or sad most of the day?
2) Are you a positive or negative person?
3) Do you see the best in others?
4) Is your glass half full or half empty?
5) Do you constantly worry?
6) Are your worries the same as they were 6 months ago? A year ago?
7) Do you actively engage in bettering your life?
8) Is your main topic of conversation about how sad you are?
9) Is your main topic of conversation putting someone else down or yourself?
10) Do your conversations involve around yourself?
11) Do you seek to better others without being pushy?
12) Are you happy to open your eyes each day?
13) Do your thoughts rest in the past?
14) Do you have an off switch to your thoughts?
15) Do you consume alcohol on a regular basis?
16) Do you consume drugs on a regular basis?
17) Are you on auto pilot?
18) Are you happy?

Lots of questions?  Think of it this way, isn't it important to know yourself and where you stand mentally?  Once you know where you stand you can begin improving your mental health.

Begin to ask yourself each day, AM I HAPPY?  After you ask yourself this question then focus on what will make you happy.  Remember this, don't focus on what's making you unhappy!  Focus on what will make you happy.  After all we all have one of the same major goals in life, to be happy.    When you focus on what makes you unhappy you are instantly utilizing your negative energy as opposed to utilizing positive energy.  When you focus on what makes you happy you might even notice yourself begin to smile as you brainstorm what makes you happy which is a start to improving your mental health.  Write down things that make you happy and keep them somewhere you can see them everyday or even throughout the day to help kick yourself in the butt to begin doing those things.  When you feel sad, down, depressed look at that list and do something off of it or at least begin working towards a goal on your list.

Happiness is something you should be striving for each and everyday.  You might lose friends and you might gain friends!  When you begin to change your life for the better you will start to notice those individuals or groups that bring you down, constantly talk about their problems, nag, complain, only day dream without being a doer, Debby downers, people who suck the life out of you, addicts, alcoholics, and negative people.  When you realize how these people infect you, you will also realize how you don't need to be around them.  Are some of these your family members or close friends?  If so, keep them on an extremely short leash and spend more time with people who are positive and bring out the best in you.  Spend more time with people who encourage you to be better, spend more time with yourself getting to know yourself and bettering your life.

You have the power to improve your mental health.

You have the power to be happy.

Every single second of everyday you have a choice.  You have a choice to be positive or negative, complain about someone or change your topic, nag or promote, sadness or happiness, anger or happiness, worry or improve your thoughts.  Every single second of everyday you have a choice to be happy.