Are You NICE?

Nice Humans... Do you know some?

Over the past few months I’ve had a few encounters with some humans who weren’t very nice?  Why?  Who knows? 

First impressions imprint into the human brain instantly.  Within the first 10 seconds of meeting someone humans judge and come to realizations, from which the human is then categorized into the human brain. Which category do you fall into when you meet people?

I know I’m not the best which means I’m definitely striving to be a nice human to those I come into contact with, but some of you humans are really testing me lately.  What would Jesus do?  What would the Dalai Lama do?  What would your Grandma do?  What would Zulekha do?  Apparently at times I will yell, flip someone off, curse, and maybe just curse someone out in my head.  I’M TRYING NOT TO DO THESE THINGS…  walk away is the best answer when it comes to the rude humans.  

In Febraury I met someone who looked me up and down like I was a piece of… oh I wont say.  This really hurt my feelings and got me thinking, wow I don’t even know this human nor does this human know me but they give me nothing but negativity.  We can’t change everyones minds about us when they choose to judge.  We can make our best attempts to not let these encounters sway us and instead we can stand tall, smile, and move forward with our lives. Afterall there are so many NICE, COMPASSIONATE SOULS, HAPPY HUMANS, GIVING NOTHING BUT UNCONDITIONAL POSITIVE REGARD.  

As humans all inhabiting this Earth let’s try and make great attempts to be nice to one another.  When we meet for the first time let’s not look at skin color, clothing, hair, stature and anything else that causes instant judgment.  Let’s smile and introduce ourselves and hope the BEST! 

I LOVE YOU.

Compliments Are Nice

Are you a human who compliments other humans?  I've really taken notice lately to how many humans "hate" on other humans.  

Recently my family and I were at an event and I overheard someone sharing some wonderful news so I ran over and threw out some compliments and then...  Mrs Debby Downer quickly jumped in with all her hating remarks while trying make her hate sound concerned and nice.  I didn't have my pie of be nice to humans to slap her with so I just complimented again when her negativity stopped.  

Where's the love?  Oh here's another, you show someone or tell someone about something amazing and they have to ONE UP YOU.  "Well that's cool, but what I have is wayyyyy better."  Why can't humans acknowledge another humans without having to show or express why "they" are "better."  

Now that I"m a Mommy I'm definitely running away fast from negative Mommy's who speak negatively about children and babies.  OOOOOHHHHHHH good example right here- the new Gerber Baby was posted today and my goodness Mommy's left the most hateful comments ABOUT A BABY!  WOW.  Kairi is a beautiful baby and wow did some of the hating Mommy's really show their ugliness with their comments.  I can only hope that those women grow quickly so they aren't teaching their children that same hatefulness.  
-------and we wonder why bullies are in schools...  it starts with the parents.  Lead by example.

Let's all take a moment and ground ourselves.  Go frolic on a beach, have a good nap, workout, read a good back, watch a happy movie, or MAKE LOVE!  Do whatever it takes to get that negativity out of you.  

Love is so much better.

Happiness is choice.

Let's all be nice humans.

Merry Christmas and Happy Thoughts

Happy  Holidays and a very Merry Christmas to you all.  I love you.  

I hope everyone has had a happy holiday to those who celebrate and happy days to those who don't.  I love the holidays, people are nicer, happier, and all that jazz.  What do the holidays mean to you?

When I think of the holidays I fantasize about Christmas gatherings, music, enjoying time with one another, good spirited humans, an overall joyful time with lots of food, love, and a Happy Happy New Year!

I love the holidays!

Are you a happy person to be around during the holidays?  Take a minute, sit back, and think?  Do I give off good vibes and love to people?  If I don't it needs to be fixed ASAP.  If I do, am I doing it everyday and not just the holidays?

It's important to yourself and for those you come into contact with to have good energy and a positive well being.  After all, who likes a Debby Downer-I don't and neither do You!  I love cheerful humans with positive things to speak about and forget the gossip, we all know it's annoying.  Be happy!  Do what you have to do to achieve that happiness and to put a smile on your face, you deserve it.  What does that mean to you, to put a smile on your own face?  Do you even know anymore?

To put a smile on my face, I write... duh.  I listen to good music, speak to those who are happy humans without negativity, dance, laugh, workout, watch favorite shows, capture, go places, and most of all be with my family and cuddle up with my Man.  It's good to know what put's a smile on your face, by having that insight you can boost your spirits.  Don't ever blame other humans for you being sad, depressed, or mad.  Yes, they will do things that make you upset, but YOU HAVE THE POWER to continue to allow yourself to be mad, sad, depressed, or move on to things that make you happy.  We all have flaws, those are just your thoughts and you always have the ability to change them.  Smile.  

Happy Holidays.  I love you!

Why Leaving the Negativity Out of Family Communication Will Increase Healthy Relationships

So many families these days are blended with Step Siblings, Step Mothers, Step Fathers, and Step Grandparents compiling a big mixing bowl of new family members.  Not only are families blended with new brothers and sisters but also mixed with new cultures.  Our family comprises it all.

My parents divorced I believe almost 10 years ago now, crazy how time just pushes along and years have went by.  They are both re-married now and with their new marriages came new Step Parents and five new Step Siblings.  I can honestly say I get along well with all of of my Step Siblings and love each of their uniqueness and new personalities they bring.  I've had some highs and lows with my Step Parents and at the end of the day I check myself and remind myself that these are the people my parents chose out of love and just as any relationship there will be arguments and disagreements and most importantly am I judging them more harshly because they aren't my biological parents?  Am I treating them with love?

I was one of those who thought my parents would never divorce so when it happened it was like pigs flying to me.  Parents divorce doesn't only impact the parents but the children as well know matter what age they might be.  I was in my late twenties when my parents divorced and couldn't image their home breaking apart and at the time couldn't imagine them moving on to other people, it didn't even cross my mind.

What I've learned from my parents divorce along with many other friends and families members divorces is that if it ever happens to me, which I hope it doesn't that I will have to accept that my once partner will be in a new relationship with new children.  I will have to accept that another women may nurture my children as if they are her own and they will develop relationships with a new family.  Your children will always view you as their Mother or fFather because the love of a biological mother or father can't be replaced.  

With divorce or dissolve in a relationship you can either hate the person you're Ex Wife/Ex Husband/Ex Boyfriend/Ex Girlfriend is with or you can accept them.  Talking down about the new spouse of an ex lover to your children doesn't help, nor does talking down about your ex to your children know matter what the age.  It only makes you come across as jealous and unable to adapt.  Allowing your children to decide about the people in their lives should be completely left up to them and most importantly for you, now it's time to move forward with your happiness.  You can either continue to reflect on what could've been, how things were, how you were treated, what could've been done differently, how your ex treats their new partner differently then how they treated you, not wanting your children to develop new relationships with families, but where will this get you?  Your children know matter what shouldn't have to hear these things.  If you're saying these things, STOP!  Keep your negativity to yourself.  Instead you can focus your energy on being the best person you can be and being happy while moving forward.

If you're now with someone you don't see a future in, change it!  Don't hold on for comfort, run and change it fast because years will go on and you will continue to feel uncomfortableness.  Be an example of what a happy person is, be an example of positive change, be an example of moving forward, be an example of not speaking negatively about others, be an example of only being in a relationship if it's complete love and acceptance, be an example!

I remember years ago being in a relationship in which my partner had a child and the child's mother would send me nasty/rude texts and call me saying such negative things about me and my partner.  I could've lowered myself to her level but instead I chose to not let her negatively impact the way in which I treat her child, I never spoke negatively about her, and when I saw her I acknowledged her presence saying hi with a smile on my face everytime.  Don't let another person rob you of your happiness.  To be honest they're not the ones robbing you, you're robbing yourself.  You have a choice to choose happiness or bitter resentment and anger.  Happiness is always a better choice.

Please refrain from telling your children know matter what the age they are choosing another Mother and Father over you.  Don't guilt trip them.  Instead take a step back and re-analyze yourself while asking self, am I being love?  Could there be something I could be doing differently in a positive way.  Don't put expectations on your children, if they don't come around enough you can let them know you love spending time with them and bring up happy memories.  Refrain from putting it on them because you may just be doing something that's pushing them away.  You can ask if you are, but don't place the blame all on them.  If you ask, accept their response without being defensive and perhaps you can then ask how the relationship can move forward in a loving positive way.  It's hard for people to accept answers they don't want to hear, swallow your pride and focus on the love.

If you want a child/friend/partner to spend more time with you then start initiating.  Perhaps they need time to realize again that you are a safe place, so call them and have brief conversations keeping it all positive and one day these conversations will get longer and longer with face to face contact next.  People like to talk to people who speak happiness and positivity.  Don't speak negatively about anyone in your conversation know matter how you may feel about another, if you can't refrain from speaking negatively about them then don't bring them up.  If the other person brings them up you can say things like, "I wish them happiness," "I hope all is well with them,"  or simply change the subject.  It's that simple.  But don't intentionally bring your negativity into the conversation.  When you find yourself thinking, I wish this person would call me or come over, call them and have light convo.  Call them and set up a date to get together.  If they break the date they may just need more time.  It's not up to you to decide if it's been to long, simply just keep reaching out in a loving way.  Be love.

Yesterday I spent such a good day with my Mother, Father, Stepmother, Mother-in-law, and Love of my life.  We went to our Baby Boys 3D/4D ultrasound and we were all together.  Everyone got along and there was no negativity, it was such a memorable experience.  It was nice to see that my Mother and Father could be in the same room together and smile and be happy.  I hope you are able to provide that type of experience for your children as well.

BE LOVE, BE HAPPY.

How are Pets Therapeutic and Beneficial to Life?

I'm not talking about sit down across from your pet and let them do therapy with you... or am I?  Pets can be some of the best medicine.  We have an Italian Mastiff named Brew and two cats named Fester and Tigger who are currently sleeping on top of my feet hogging all the room.  I love them!

Have you ever had a bad day, which I'm sure you have you human and needed to calm down or get your mind off of things.  Instead of picking up the phone and calling a friend or family member with your negativity, instead of posting it on social media making you look like a poor me Debbie Downer, instead of drinking or smoking your problems away giving you a hangover, why don't you try spending some quality time with your pets.

Some days I just pause and watch my two cats.  These two are a comedy show!  They hunt each other, slap each other in the face with their paws, they play tag, they steal each others toys, they play fight, they steal my stuff, they are hilarious to watch and really do make me laugh out loud.  Tigger walks past the same spot on the floor everyday all day long and at least once a day he tries to attack the spot on the floor.  He will do back flips, jump at it with all his might, tap at it, it's as if the spot comes to life once or twice a day and talks crap to him and he tries to get back at it.  He's hilarious to watch with his spot on the floor.  They have me going from dull to happiness in a heartbeat!

Pets can change your mood for the better.  I find myself holding my phone about to do who knows what that I don't need to do and when one of my furry family members jumps on my lap rubbing against my phone I can't help but put my phone down and spend time with them.  Their fully present minds help me to keep in check and remind myself, this is the only moment I have, why not spend it with a being that has a heartbeat who loves me unconditionally instead of picking my phone back up to do nothingness.

Pets love us sooooooooooo much and we need to ensure we are giving them that same love back.  Why and how are pets beneficial to life?  Well Honey here's a list;

1) Pets decrease loneliness
2) Pets increase happiness
3) Pets decrease depression
4) Pets reduce anxiety
5) Pets bring you back to the present moment
6) Pets love you unconditionally
7) You are your pets happiness
8) Pets are hilarious to watch
9) Pets give you a since of loyalty
10) Pets lower your stress levels
11) Pets give you someone to cuddle with
12) Pets increase your activity, go walk your dog
13) Pets are great date magnets
14) Pets provide companionship
15) Pets decrease Alzheimer outbursts
16) Pets increase your alive days on Earth
17) Pets lower blood pressure
18) Pets increase levels of serotonin and dopamine in your body
19) Pets love you know matter what
20) Pets improve your cardiovascular health
21) Walking your dog increases your social interactions with other humans

I can go on and on with why and how pets are beneficial to your life.  If you don't have a pet you should get one.  If you have a pet I hope you increase the time you spend with your furry bundle of love.

I love when I get home from anywhere and how our two cats and dog run to the door to greet me.  I make sure to stop and pet all three and say hi to them and show them I missed them as well and love them oh so much!

Yes, you can just sit and talk to your pet and they will look at you tilting their heads and rubbing up against you and remind you that no matter what, everything is okay.

Why You Should Encourage Your Partner to Pursue Their Hobbies and Projects

When you're not working what do you find yourself doing?

This is what I do when I'm not working; blog, photography, and of course watch some movies.  But when it comes to hobbies or projects, blogging and photography are at the top of my list.  

This post came about because I found myself getting frustrated with my love for his hobbies and projects.  He stays up late sometimes working on his hobbies and/or projects and when he's not in the bed I can't sleep as well.  I was starting to make my problem his problem until I quickly checked myself.  Thank goodness I can step back and take a holistic view and see the bigger picture looking outside of myself.  

When you do what you love as a human being it makes life that much more rewarding and enjoyable.  With that said I definitely don't want to nor will I get on him anymore about coming to bed when he's lost in time with his hobbies because these are things that make him smile and happy.  I also realized how I've slacked off on my blog and photography which I've dived back into and realized how much I missed my hobbies!  At 27 weeks pregnant now I get tired faster throughout the day which has caused me to slack off on my hobbies, however I'm making sure to fit them back in because after all, these are things I love to do.

Do you have hobbies which cause you to lose track of time?  If you're in a relationship do you have a hobby apart from your partner which brings you happiness?  I hope you do?  If you feel you don't, seriously take a moment and think about what brings you joy when you do it and what causes you to lose track of time.  

Have you made the same mistake I have in coming down on your partner for spending time on their hobbies?  If so it's good to go back to them and let them know you want them to enjoy the things they do in life and if that something brings them joy to keep doing it!  In relationships we bring love to one another and at the same time we have to realize our partners have lives outside of us and encouraging them to do things they love is also showing them how much you love them and their happiness.  

Take time and jot down a list of at least 10 things you love to do.  If you're list goes beyond 10, AMAZING!  If you can't come up with even a few then increase your awareness of yourself as you go about your day so you can take notice of what brings you joy when you're doing it.  You can even look back to your childhood and recall what you daydreamed of doing or brought you happiness.  Chances are those things are most likely the same things you enjoy doing today.  

With that said, hobby on my loves!  Go do something you love!

Smile

How often do you smile?  The simple act of smiling can brighten your mood, another's mood, and increase your overall happines.

Smiling looks good on you!  Try it!

:)

Dance on Baby! Dance on!

Do you dance?  You know how it feels when you hear YOUR song and you can't help but bob your head, tap your foot, sing out loud, close your eyes and move your head, or stand up and dance.  Dancing does wonders for the body, the soul, the mind, and your happiness!

I'm THAT PERSON that just gets up and dances.  I can be alone, getting dressed, in a bar, and what makes me love being me is I don't need to drink to move and groove in public.  When I feel it I jam!  If you're like me, amazing.  If not, why not?  Yes, I know we are all different but what's stopping you from busting a move?  I use to be afraid to dance in front of others, then one day I realized I don't care what other people think, why should I?  Are you afraid people are looking?  Are you afraid of what people are thinking about you?  Who cares.  Most likely they're thinking I wish I had that much courage, I wish I could just let loose and not care, I wish I could be more free.  So inspire yourself and by doing so you inspire others to free themselves.

Do you feel you don't have rhythm?  Once again, whether you have the rhythm you want or not don't let that stop you from moving and grooving to your own rhythm.  Remember dancing is about moving to YOUR BEAT!  You don't need to know the latest dance moves or the the newest songs, dancing is about the freedom and beat you feel from within and expressing it in YOUR way.

What does dancing do for you?  Baby let me tell you...
1) makes you feel free
2) releases endorphins
3) gives you a dancers high
4) tones the body
5) gives you a since of individuality
6) improves your mood
7) gives a since of satisfaction
8) decreases depression
9) eliminates depression
10) reduces anxiety
11) promotes happiness
12) increases energy
13) lowers stress
14) promotes weight loss
15) tones your body
16) gives you in overall since of happiness while you're inspiring others to get up and let loose!

There are so many amazing benefits of the simple act of dancing.  Stop being afraid to be you, stop being afraid to express yourself in YOUR way, get up and bust YOUR move!  Next time you're home and feeling stressed, worried, anxious, sad, or mad turn on some music that you love and just dance!

I love that the love of my life will just turn on music and dance.  He will walk up to me, grab me and we just start dancing!  I absolutely love this about him among other things.  He's not afraid to be himself nor is he afraid to enjoy himself through the simple act of dancing.  I fall in love with him more and more each time I see how free he is in his mind and body.

Dance with your kids, dance alone, dance with your love, dance with your family, dance with strangers, dance at events, dance at the bar, whatever you do please don't be afraid to dance!

Now turn on something that will get you moving and get up and DANCE!

How's Your Mental Health? Are You Happy?

How is your mental health?

So many people spend hours upon hours in the gym elevating their physical health and then go back home to their slump of depression, anxiety, anger, or constant worry.  Are you one of those people?  Then there are those who don't invest into their physical health nor mental at all.  Are you one of those people?

Mental health is just as important as physical health, after all you're walking, laying, sitting, running, etc with yourself all day long, with YOUR thoughts which are in correlation with your mental health. The way you view yourself, others, and even the world is a direct result of your mental health.

Let's take a moment and see where you stand?  Ask yourself a few questions...

1) Are you happy or sad most of the day?
2) Are you a positive or negative person?
3) Do you see the best in others?
4) Is your glass half full or half empty?
5) Do you constantly worry?
6) Are your worries the same as they were 6 months ago? A year ago?
7) Do you actively engage in bettering your life?
8) Is your main topic of conversation about how sad you are?
9) Is your main topic of conversation putting someone else down or yourself?
10) Do your conversations involve around yourself?
11) Do you seek to better others without being pushy?
12) Are you happy to open your eyes each day?
13) Do your thoughts rest in the past?
14) Do you have an off switch to your thoughts?
15) Do you consume alcohol on a regular basis?
16) Do you consume drugs on a regular basis?
17) Are you on auto pilot?
18) Are you happy?

Lots of questions?  Think of it this way, isn't it important to know yourself and where you stand mentally?  Once you know where you stand you can begin improving your mental health.

Begin to ask yourself each day, AM I HAPPY?  After you ask yourself this question then focus on what will make you happy.  Remember this, don't focus on what's making you unhappy!  Focus on what will make you happy.  After all we all have one of the same major goals in life, to be happy.    When you focus on what makes you unhappy you are instantly utilizing your negative energy as opposed to utilizing positive energy.  When you focus on what makes you happy you might even notice yourself begin to smile as you brainstorm what makes you happy which is a start to improving your mental health.  Write down things that make you happy and keep them somewhere you can see them everyday or even throughout the day to help kick yourself in the butt to begin doing those things.  When you feel sad, down, depressed look at that list and do something off of it or at least begin working towards a goal on your list.

Happiness is something you should be striving for each and everyday.  You might lose friends and you might gain friends!  When you begin to change your life for the better you will start to notice those individuals or groups that bring you down, constantly talk about their problems, nag, complain, only day dream without being a doer, Debby downers, people who suck the life out of you, addicts, alcoholics, and negative people.  When you realize how these people infect you, you will also realize how you don't need to be around them.  Are some of these your family members or close friends?  If so, keep them on an extremely short leash and spend more time with people who are positive and bring out the best in you.  Spend more time with people who encourage you to be better, spend more time with yourself getting to know yourself and bettering your life.

You have the power to improve your mental health.

You have the power to be happy.

Every single second of everyday you have a choice.  You have a choice to be positive or negative, complain about someone or change your topic, nag or promote, sadness or happiness, anger or happiness, worry or improve your thoughts.  Every single second of everyday you have a choice to be happy.