Monday, January 30, 2017

Hippies and Free Spirits

            “You’re a hippie!  Why are you such a free spirit?”  This weekend I had a close family member call me a hippie and asked why I was such a free spirit.  This particular family member said and asked this in the most negative tone.  
            Now that I’ve had a few days to dwell on it in my hippie mind I came to a realization, yep I sure am.  Yes, I do blow in the wind, I’m amazed by everything, so much excites me, I’m willing to try most things, I’m comfortable in my own skin, I love who I am, I wear me out-loud with confidence, I love who I am, and I really enjoy being with me.  I have so much fun with myself and by myself sometimes, I can’t even believe it.  Lol  
            I don’t believe in violence, I wish there was no such thing as military, I wear exactly what makes me feel like me, I dance my heart out and I can dance all night long!  I’m so comfortable in my own skin that I love me naked.  After-all weren’t we all brought into this world naked, I’m comfortable nude in front of people, I play the guitar, all of my tattoos are about love, I like freedom.  Does all this me-ness make me a hippie?
            The same person who I still love no matter what although they told me they hate me, criticized me for being a free spirit.  What’s wrong with my spirit being free?  What’s wrong with me loving me for who I am and being comfortable in whichever room I’m in.  Is it my dreadlocks which I don’t keep tightly maintained, perhaps my tattoos on my neck, my back, my arms, my body?  Is it the way in which I can’t stop smiling that possibly offends?  I wish everyone smiled more, I wish everyone felt comfortable in their own skin, I wish everyone didn’t rush into relationships and first discovered the relationship with self.    
            I was homeless for five months and wandered and made some of the best friendships, met the most amazing people, fell deeper in love with myself, gave up everything I owned, walked away from my Camaro that was used against me, left a city where people wanted me dead and gone, sat on beaches for hours and watched the sunrise and sunset, stood in awe of nature’s beauty, slept outside, on buses, at church, on the floor of friends rooms and homes, slept on trains, yet I was so content.  Does this make me a hippie or a free spirit?  Or does this make me, ME and not you?
            I stand in amazement as people stand by and judge one another and talk about what people don’t have.  It’s as if some individuals think their way of living and their opinions mean everything.  Why do humans have such a need to give their opinions about other people’s lives or what someone else should be doing with their time or money.  PEOPLE OF EARTH, WE ARE NOT ALL ALIKE AND WE DON’T WANT THE SAME THINGS.  We are all in different places in our lives although we are one, we have different minds, values, and beliefs. 
            Yes, I am “hip” and “aware” of what is going on around me, however it doesn’t mean I have to conform to societal views nor yours.  Yes, I’ve done sit-ins and refused to leave public places, yes I believe in no borders, and I don’t prefer Donald Trump’s views.  Do I hate Mr. Trump?  Nope, I do not.  I simply see him as a man who may need more love and awareness to spread more love and awareness.  We are all in this world we call Earth, yet we as humans created boundaries and borders to separate one another.  I don’t believe in boundaries and borders, I love every person I meet whether they show love for me or not.

            If all this means I’m a hippie and a free spirit, then so be it.  All I know is I have a strong desire to spread love and compassion.  I have a strong desire to live in a world in which all beings feel and display unconditional love and unconditional positive regard for each other and self.  I love you and I love me.  Most important I hope you love you more to love each other more and more!  My free spirited, hippie heart loves you so much!

Saturday, January 21, 2017


  Sorry, I can’t attend your event or party today because I’m busy.  I’m busy editing photos, reading, lounging in bed, watching a movie, playing the guitar, day dreaming, blogging, wandering Earth capturing photographical moments or researching to assist clients.  Long story short I’m busy.  I’m busy doing things I love to do and this is more important to me right now then talking on the phone to you, texting you, listening to your same complaints or life stressors which you do nothing about other then keep complaining nagging my ear about.  Bottom line, I’d rather be doing this right now because this is what I LOVE to do. 

Although you didn’t ask for it, in my opinion it’s extremely important to have things you love to do in life, passions in life that make you smile, things you can’t tear yourself away from, something that causes you to grin from ear to ear when talking about.  Seven years ago I was in a seven-year relationship with a beautiful man who I still consider a friend today and he would say to me, “you have to do what you love no matter what, you have to have something you love to do when we are apart.”  At the time I didn’t get it nor understand what he meant.  I do now!  I watched him graduate from college then do something completely different than what he went to school for because that’s what he loved and still loves to do and that’s what inspired him!  He inspired me!
I can’t speak for all females, however I do know so many women give up on their dreams and dive deep into relationships putting their all into their mate.  Yes, it’s important to spend time with your significant other, however it’s also important to break away and do what YOU love to do.  After-all time away from a mate makes the heart grow fonder and gives one a realization of how much you value the time spent together when together.  I was that female at one point in my life who’s life evolved around my mate and didn’t spend time on my own doing things I love to do.  Over the years I’ve re-found my passions in life and started to and still to this day spend a lot of my time on my passions.  I highly value my alone time because it gives me time to re-connect with my soul every time I’m taking a picture of a beautiful landscape, watching a movie I love in theatres, researching how to assist a client, playing the guitar, or simply reaching deep sleep where rapid eye movement takes place and awakening with a realization and having that AHA moment!  Doing these things and making the time to do these things keeps me smiling, keeps me motivated, they even foster new found passions in my life.  I love to write, which is why I blog, I also write poetry and short stories which is something I’ve done since I was a child.  I have notebooks from childhood of stories and poems I wrote that made me smile.
We all have something we love to do.  If you are one of those who state, “I don’t have anything I love to do, I have no hobbies.”  Bullshit!  Yes you do, you just haven’t realized it yet.  We all have something we love to do!  Think back to when you were a kid and what you dreamed of, or what you loved to play, perhaps what you are really good at, what inspired you?  We all smile, what makes you smile? 
I hear many women state my children are my life, everything I do evolves around them.  Okay that’s cute and dandy but what else?  You can do something that involves children, I have a friend who created a children’s clothing line, my Aunt created a daycare, I see women blogging about children, or Mom’s that are now coaches, Moms who are authors, Moms who are photographers capturing moments of their children’s life and spending time on Pinterest or Instagram creating!  That’s all so beautiful to me, you found something you love and created a hobby out of it!  You can explore online and find out how you can create an activity for yourself involving your children which can turn into a hobby that you love.
Men do it to! If you like to work with your hands create your passion out of something you love to do, whether it be starting your own construction business, landscape business, acting, photography, video game development, drawing, or writing a book.  There are so many things you can spend your time on that create a beautiful smile on your face.
I personally feel I can’t be with a man who has no hobbies and doesn’t know what creates a fire in their own heart.  I don’t want you to spend 100% of your time with me because I need to break away and do what I love which makes me love you more.  I’ve been in relationships where men think I don’t care about them because I’m not texting them every second of the day nor acting jealous.  I’ve been told it makes certain men feel as if I don’t care or I’m out cheating on them.  So in turn they create events to try and make me jealous or talk about so and so hitting on them or the attention they get out and about in the world.  You don’t need me to validate you and I don’t need you to validate me.  If someone is going to cheat they are going to cheat, end of story.  You are where you choose to be.  Every second of your life you have a choice, choose wisely.
I’ve been told, you’re going to miss me one day!  Okay, if I don’t miss you today nor reach out to you, chances are I’m not going to miss you…  just being honest.  This type of statement makes me feel you are desperate, have no hobbies, selfish, immature, or simply you just haven’t found yourself yet.  I've been told, "I just wanted you to feel like I needed you."  Why would anyone wish for another being to need them?  Once again, get a hobby and don't sit around wanting someone to NEED you, instead wish the best for people and take a deeper exploration of self and find what makes you want others to need you.  You should always wish the best for people, in my opinion.  I care, but I don’t care at the same time.  Meaning I care about your well-being, but I don’t care enough to assist your negative irrational thoughts.  Go get a hobby.
Sleeping around is not a hobby ladies and gents.  Yea I said it!  Sleeping around shows theirs a piece of you that you are yet to discover which fosters desires to seek bodily pleasures from another being.  Sleeping around shows your lack of hobbies, lack of commitment, and lack of personal self-worth to care-fully about your health and what you can pick up from your random sex partners.  When you have sex with someone or lay next to someone you exchange energy.  Energy is important to me and I prefer my energy to be a certain way without contamination.  After all, condoms don’t protect against everything! 
I’m on two different online dating websites, however I don’t spend my entire day on them nor do I spend my entire thought process on wishing for love, wanting a partner, or even having my conversations solely about desires to not be alone.  NO!  Chances are you will meet someone who’s most likely a great partner for you by being true and authentic to self.  I could probably do better and create times to actually go on a date, but dang most times I’d rather be doing something else.  I will probably fall in love one day, if I don’t it’s not the end of the world. 
What makes you get in bed at night and be so excited to get up to do the next day?  Whatever that is, chances are that is what you should be doing.  I’m not talking about drugs or self-loathing activities.  I’m talking about what makes your heart beat faster, what makes you smile while doing, what makes you eager to get up?  Only you can find your hobby.  Only you can find your true you.  Only you can help you the most in living a happy life and fulfilled life.
Happiness is attractive, a smile is attractive.  People who live their purpose are more attractive to me.  Those with negative outlooks or stuck in jobs they hate are not attractive.   If you don’t like your life change it.  Yes, I know it doesn’t happen overnight nor do I encourage you to be like me and just quit, unless that’s what you truly need to do.   Find your happiness and once you put it on and wear it every-day you beam with light from the inside out and have a special glow about you that attracts more and more happiness.  By being positive and happy you create an environment in your body that builds upon more positivity and happiness.  Negativity is choice.  Happiness is choice. 
We were all born one day and we will die one day, this is inevitable.  This thought alone makes me do things every-day that I love to do.  Knowing that one day I will die makes me want to live each day doing things I love to do.  I want to have memories of happy times.  I don’t want to be a person that says, “I wish I would’ve.”  I strive every-day to say, “I did and it was a fucking blast!”