Are you in a relationship just to be in one?

I was single for three years before I met the love of my life.  People would tell me, you're in your 30's and approaching mid 30's what are you waiting for?  Why don't you just get into a relationship?  When are you going to have kids? What are you waiting for, you're not getting any younger.

Are you in a relationship just to be in one?  Have you asked yourself this question?  Heres some things to consider;

1) Are you in love or feeling it growing to love?
2) Do more things bother you about your partner then make you happy?
3) Do you complain to other people about your partner?
4) Do you enjoy spending a lot of time with your partner?
5) Do you prefer to vacation without your partner?
6) Do you look at your partner and think, I'm so lucky to have found you...
7) Do you cuddle with your partner?
8) If you are a public affection being, do you show public affection with your partner?
9) At the end of the day do you think, I can't wait to see him/her?
10) Do they broaden your horizons?
11) Do they make you want to be a better person just by being with them?
12) Do you genuinely accept your partner?
13) Are you wishing you were with someone else?
14) Are you happy with your partners short comings?

Think about your answers to these questions and your happiness.  Your happiness is extremely important, after all at then end of the day when you close your eyes you are with yourself and it's good to have good reflections of the day.

I personally spent time in relationships I shouldn't have been in at all because I THOUGHT that was what I wanted until one day I said that's enough of this crap of being around someone I don't really enjoy and can't wait to get away from.  So from that day I decided I would be single until I met THE ONE.  I wouldn't go on repeated dates with people I knew I had zero future with, wouldn't repeat dates of those who annoyed me, wouldn't be with someone just for their title-which I never did, I chose to put myself first before everything and I mean everything!  My family probably felt I was floating in directions I shouldn't, but I was doing everything I loved and enjoyed doing it because after all I would rather meet someone while I'm doing something I love even if society doesn't agree with it.  I'm not trying to please society or my family or anyone else, just me.  That's a hard pill for some to swallow.

So what did I do?  I wandered, I took pictures and re-found my love for photography, I became a nudist and worked at a nudist resort, I begin to learn guitar, I read, I would wake up and just go wherever I wanted, I saw every movie I wanted to see, I sat on many beaches, played in the ocean, met new friends, went to galleries, smoked weed-hehe (not telling you to go smoke), took random road trips, laughed a lot, moved around to different cities, bought a macbook and begin writing, started my blog, started my Instagram, gave up Facebook-as it didn't and still doesn't suit me, I DID ME and enjoyed every moment of it!  I did this for almost four years, I did me!

Then one day I joined Plenty of Fish, yep I did it.  I wrote an honest profile and put up REAL pictures of myself.  Five months later I met the love of my life who completely accepts me for me and I completely accept him for him and now we have a baby on the way!

While I was out doing me for almost four years I never thought I needed to be in a relationship.  I was to busy having a relationship with myself and getting back in touch with me!  One thing I did know is I wouldn't settle and I won't.  If I happen to fall in love I will make sure it's the love of my life and not just be in a relationship to be in one.  Have you ever had a conversation with someone who is just with someone to be with someone, they sound terrible.  I stopped feeling bad for these types of people because every single day they/you have a choice to change your life, every second of everyday!  They/you choose to stay and for what reasons?

List of BS reasons people use...
1) we have kids together, well your kids are learning unhappy relationships from you!
2) we have a home together, stop being materialistic and sell that thing and go start your life!
3) we're comfortable together, doesn't sound like it from the look on your face and the way you complain about him/her..
4) we have a vacation coming up, cancel it and go on one by yourself and watch how many new friends you meet and how much more fun you have without him/her
5) were planning on buying a home, don't do it! Run while you have the chance!
6) we have to many bills together, you can pay bills while not being with someone smarty!
7) what will the neighbors say?  Are the neighbors living your life and are you living to please your neighbors?  STOP!  Go slap yourself!
8) what will my family say?  Are you living to paint a facade of a life and living for other people?  STOP!
Whatever excuse you have, it's BULLSHIT! Wake up already start living for you!